41. Peperoncini Super Soaker

Victor started dreaming again! What’s that about? The Dream Team dives into a Victor dream involving a fender bender that…...

Victor started dreaming again! What’s that about? The Dream Team dives into a Victor dream involving a fender bender that turns into a brawl, where Victor takes on a man (of whom he thinks fondly as a fun uncle) wielding a water gun filled with peperoncini juice… or is it gasoline? Find out this week on The Jung and the Restless.

0:00 Intro

16:36 Victor's Dream

About Dream Bible:

Dream Bible is a free online A to Z dream dictionary dedicated to helping people understand the meaning of their dreams. Unlike other dream interpretation websites or books we extensively research dream symbols by interviewing people about the events occurring in their lives at the time of their dreams.  Inspired by the work of Gillian Holloway Ph.D, we are using a database of over 350,000 dream reports to create the world's most practical dream dictionary based on the waking life experiences of regular people.


Dream Bible entries used in this episode:

Peppers: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=peppers

Driving: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Driving

Water Guns: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=water+gun

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Submit your dreams for interpretation to thejungandtherestlesspod@gmail.com

Episode Transcript

podcast - 23.08.18 -Zclean

[00:00:00] Olivia: Welcome to the Jung and the Restless. I'm Olivia. I'm 

[00:00:03] Zach: Victor. And I'm Zach and this is the podcast where the question is do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? 

So the Heat Dome is finally over.

[00:00:43] Victor: hmm.

[00:00:43] Olivia: Yeah. That seems to be happening every year, lately.

[00:00:47] Zach: Yeah, it happened both years I lived in Seattle.

[00:00:50] Victor: I didn't, didn't used to. I

[00:00:53] Zach: The dome effect only happened one year when I was there, but like a severe heat wave


[00:00:58] Olivia: know what the difference is. Like, is the dome just that it, because we're surrounded by mountains, we get like, caught in like a little heat bubble?

[00:01:07] Zach: that's yeah, that's as far as my meteorolic knowledge goes. It has something to do with like atmospheric pressure density or something where it just like traps the heat and like the dangerous part of the dome is that it can't cool down overnight.

[00:01:19] Olivia: Yeah, it was still pretty hot at night.

[00:01:21] Victor: 

I thought the heat dome was when like video panels that the sky are made of, like, start to overheat, like they malfunction, and so they're putting off too much heat, and so it causes like a local problem, they have to fix all the stuff, uh, in the middle of the night when the panels are off.

[00:01:36] Zach: Yeah, so when the, the, um, the grip department on the Truman show that we're living

in, I 

[00:01:44] Victor: Right.

[00:01:44] Zach: have to like come in and solve some electrical problems. speaking of natural disasters, L. A. has its first tropical storm warning this weekend for the first time.

[00:01:55] Olivia: Oh. Oh, I think I saw that, yeah.

[00:01:58] Zach: Yeah, I don't think it's going to be that bad in L. A., uh, but it's unprecedented, the warning itself. Sunday is supposed to be, uh, like an inch of rain, and like 10 mile per hour winds all day, which isn't insane, but, uh, you know, it's like the, it's on the outskirts of a hurricane, Hurricane Hillary, um, and it's


[00:02:25] Olivia: a Hurricane Hillary? 

[00:02:26] Zach: Yeah, I voted for her, yeah, but. If it does, if it ends up being worse than that, if it, worse than projected and we get like a full on blast, then this will be an interesting historical recording.

[00:02:39] Victor: think it's funny to imagine that, uh, that like the studios are behind it somehow. They're trying to break the strike.

[00:02:48] Zach: Ha 


[00:02:49] Victor: They're finally using their weather machine.

[00:02:52] Olivia: I saw they were like cutting down trees so that people didn't have shade, like people on strike didn't have any shade on the sidewalk.

[00:03:00] Zach: Yeah.

[00:03:01] Olivia: we're just, uh, we're doing our yearly maintenance, trimming the palm hmm.

[00:03:08] Zach: Yeah. God, that sucks.

[00:03:10] Victor: Yeah, it's been

[00:03:11] Zach: And it's such a spread of people out there too, that are being affected by the strikes. it's cool when you see like super famous rich people out there, cause it's like pure solidarity. You know, they'll be fine for a long time if they, a lot of them if they never work again, but a lot of the people out there, you know, like, I imagine it's, it's, would be a great feeling just to break into writing professionally, but to, but they are, they're, they're like, grossly underpaid, the majority of the people doing the work. 

[00:03:43] Victor: It's just been interesting, like, the actual numbers are starting to come out a little bit, because people are being really candid about, like, the state of the industry, and it's, it's wild, like, uh, like, I think it was the actors, like, how, like, 80% of them don't break 30k a year or something, and so they don't qualify for health insurance, and it's like, But like the industry relies on those people like they need those people working, you know But it's just like you have this whole with writing and acting you have like this whole class of people that Have to just like, you know barely survive And and only like a small number of people trickle up to actually be successful

[00:04:23] Olivia: yeah, I also heard that they, they like, create jobs to justify underpaying people. Like, like, they'll hire writers to be in a writer's room and to do the exact job of the writers, but they'll hire them as writer's assistants or something? 

[00:04:38] Zach: Mm hmm. 

[00:04:39] Olivia: And then they'll just make them do the exact thing and pay them, like, half as much?

[00:04:43] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. Most like, most bottom level positions in the industry in any department, whether it's writing or production or lighting or art or, or anything, it's, uh, the bottom rung is the assistant, the PA, the production assistant, and it's a unlivable wage. unless you have like some kind of privilege, which is something I think Dan Harmon said it on Harmontown that, uh, entertainment is an industry where you have to be insanely privileged just to be like a slave.

[00:05:15] Victor: Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. I mean, it works kind of similar to like how internship stuff works a lot of the time. It's like, well, you have to have money and support to be able to do the unpaid internship. And so it's like, it's a class marker. I remember reading something a while back about how like, like how college degrees have become really devalued over like the last generation or so. And part of that is because college degrees used to be. A class marker, and it's like this was a proxy to signal your class or signal your status without actually like saying the thing or whatever. It's like, oh, if this person bothered to get a degree or bothered to get like a higher ed degree or whatever. That it was, uh, that, like, they had support, they were the right kind of people, you know? Uh, and so they would get the right kinds of jobs, but that it, then it, then there was the push for everyone can get a degree, everyone should go out and get a degree, it no longer became a valuable class marker, and so now it's, like, not nearly as useful as it

would have been, you know? And now it's all the, it's, the You just look for the thing where, well, you can only do that if you already have money. That's the thing that's gonna be used to decide who gets the prestigious whatever.

[00:06:37] Zach: Yeah, but in that push for like everyone to get a degree like the majority of us had to take out loans 

[00:06:43] Victor: Yeah. 

[00:06:43] Zach: devaluing of the degree was a real kick in the dick

[00:06:48] Victor: Yeah, it really was. It was like at the same time that there was this big push of like, anyone can and should go to college. Everyone should go to college. It was also like... The the cost of it was growing exponentially and they're just writing like these bullshit loans the way that like they did for like housing And the housing crisis or whatever.

It's like them. It's just a scam. This whole fucking country is a scam

[00:07:15] Zach: my Degree doesn't exist anymore. Like


[00:07:19] Olivia: What, do you have?

[00:07:21] Zach: I have a degree in BFA in film production from CU Boulder

 CU Boulder. The joke about it at the time was as America's most private public school it's not a private school, but only 3% of its funding came from the government. Um, but anyway, like the year after I left, they like. Got rid of all the film projectors and all the film cameras and stopped teaching film and it became the department of like like moving Moving images arts or something like that. So if you google my program that I graduated from it's not around it became like immediately obsolete

[00:07:57] Victor: You were taking your last final and they were sitting there tapping their watch, like, you gotta get outta here. We got like the movers coming to like clear all this out

soon as you're gone.

[00:08:07] Zach: I should I think it was like sophomore junior year when like Kodak went out of business I was like this isn't a good sign, but Sunken Cost Fallacy, better follow through. And it's such an art school too, like, like we, we made, we made film. You know, like on celluloid, edited on Steinbecks. Which is something no, even at the time nobody was doing it.

[00:08:27] Victor: What is a Steinbeck?

[00:08:29] Zach: It's a

giant, dude, you know Olivia?

[00:08:32] Victor: yeah, I was just struggling to make a joke about the guy that wrote like the 

[00:08:36] Zach: Grapes of Wrath? 

[00:08:37] Victor: but I couldn't get there.

[00:08:39] Olivia: Yeah. Yeah, you know, that kind of thing was like a novelty thing. I also have a BFA in film, But we didn't really mess with much of like the obsolete analog technology,

[00:08:52] Zach: Right.

[00:08:53] Olivia: except for like just the novelty of it. But it like, it is fun. It's like, it's a totally different thing and you get, you get a very particular look that you can't really quite recreate exactly the same with, working in digital.

[00:09:08] Victor: someone gonna explain what it is or am I gonna be left to wonder?

[00:09:12] Zach: It's a big machine that you sit at sort of like a light table.

[00:09:17] Olivia: Like the cutting machine.

[00:09:19] Zach: Yeah. And you put your, like you, the film strip goes over this like panel of light and you look through, uh, goggles that look down at it, like a microscope kind of, so that you see the image in each frame and

then physically with scissors, cut the film.

[00:09:35] Victor: Ah, 

[00:09:36] Zach: then, and then,

[00:09:37] Victor: Glue it together,

[00:09:39] Zach: yeah, it was like a tape kind of

like a real tape.

[00:09:43] Olivia: Yeah, 

[00:09:44] Zach: and you would be constantly doing math because. You know, now you just, you go into premiere pro and you make a cut in your film and then you play it back and you're like, fuck, that wasn't right. And you rewind and try again, control Z, try again, but back then you were, you were doing back then, like I was an editor on fucking the first star Wars. This was 2000 fucking 12. No one else was doing this. We were the only 20 people on the planet doing this, uh, at least for a degree, but you would like be doing math where you're like, okay, that was 56 frames from this scene. That means it's roughly this many minutes long. And if I want it to cut like right after. You know, 12 seconds after the actor makes this look, I should do it right here. And then

[00:10:31] Olivia: you know, 

[00:10:31] Zach: you would tape it up and then go put it on a projector and watch it and be like, fuck

[00:10:36] Victor: Was, is that like your one shot at it? Like once you've cut it, you're fucked.

[00:10:42] Zach: go and Frankenstein it again, but you know,

[00:10:44] Olivia: not too many times,

[00:10:46] Zach: yeah,

[00:10:46] Victor: Old

[00:10:47] Olivia: you know, what's funny to me though, is when like old people get mad about things being easier now,

[00:10:54] Zach: yeah,

[00:10:57] Olivia: Like the people who got mad that they had to pay their student loans when other people Like, don't you want people to not have to do that? I was like,

[00:11:06] Zach: yeah. And that was back when like my great uncle talks about that. How he paid off his student loans work while he was in college working at McDonald's and it was like well Yeah, that was 4, 000 total

[00:11:18] Olivia: yeah dude, different thing.

[00:11:20] Zach: my favorite is when people I've heard this a few times people referring to like backup cameras and cars as Cheating

[00:11:28] Olivia: Yeah.

[00:11:29] Zach: and I'm


[00:11:30] Olivia: that's a safety feature.

[00:11:31] Victor: Okay.

[00:11:32] Zach: if the game is don't run over a child then I'll fucking cheat all day

[00:11:41] Olivia: That just reminded me that lately I've seen several people, old people, in cars when I'm driving holding on for dear life to that little like handle that's like in the passenger 

[00:11:56] Victor: It's infuriating. Yeah, 

[00:11:57] Zach: the oh the oh shit handle as my buddy calls it.

[00:12:00] Olivia: Yeah.

[00:12:02] Victor: Yeah, like, so. So, me and Olivia were talking about this, cause it's, like, she's like, oh, that's kind of annoying, and I was like, I, I hate it, pisses me off so much, and then we were, we were, like, looking, looking into it, I thought, like, maybe it's, like, an archaic, uh, like, safety feature, from, like, before there was, uh, seatbelts and they've just left them in or something

[00:12:27] Zach: hanging clothes, isn't it? 

[00:12:29] Victor: uh

No, it's not, it's not

specifically for anglo it's i guess to help pull you out of the car like you can grab onto it to help like lift yourself out of the car

[00:12:40] Zach: seen 

[00:12:40] Olivia: of giving people the benefit of the doubt and being like, Oh, like, maybe they're holding on to it because back in their day that was what you had to do.

[00:12:48] Victor: to do Yeah,

[00:12:49] Olivia: But no, they're just assholes telling you

[00:12:50] Victor: assholes telling

[00:12:51] Olivia: your driving is bad.

[00:12:52] Victor: It's the most passive aggressive thing in the world.

[00:12:55] Zach: mean, I hold onto that. But that, but I'm like, it doesn't matter how you're driving. I'm just nervous in cars,

[00:13:00] Olivia: So why do you hold on to it though? What is it going to do for you if we get into a wreck?

[00:13:05] Zach: I have anxiety. It's comforting. It's like a stress ball.

[00:13:08] Olivia: Oh no, Zach is one of those 

[00:13:11] Victor: Oh, man, 

[00:13:13] Zach: I don't do it to be a dick. I do

unconscious. It's like, it's like biting. It's like biting your nails.

[00:13:19] Victor: there's like, there's like a brand of, of elderly person that will do it to be like, Oh, you're going too fast. And I, I don't care for that. 

[00:13:28] Zach: no, I understand that. Yeah. When I was learning to drive. I don't know how it is in other places, but in the state of Maine, your first, like, however many months that you have your permit, you have to have somebody in the passenger seat with you.

[00:13:40] Olivia: Right, yeah.

[00:13:42] Zach: And, uh, whenever it was my dad, if I approached a stop sign too quick, he would like, put a hand and foot on the dashboard. And I'd be like, dude, I'm gonna


[00:13:51] Victor: I'm talking about.

[00:13:51] Zach: Yeah, so I understand like the theatrics that it I understand that being annoying that that did piss me off 

[00:14:00] Olivia: oh, man, I might actually be grabbing onto that thing when we've got a teenager driving the car, though, like, I think back to when I was learning to drive and like, well into my early 20s. I think it's just a brain development thing. Like, I was like, speeding and like, like getting into fender benders for a while, like, it takes a while to you.

Like actually learn how to be a good driver. Like I've not, I can't remember the last time I had like any kind of problem, but like for a while there into my early twenties, I was like, not a good driver.

[00:14:32] Victor: Any more questions?

[00:14:33] Zach: Yeah, I remember the first time I merged onto the highway. I thought I was gonna shit my pants it was so terrifying and then like A couple of years later, my cousin and I had a game where, because this was before like GPS, I mean, GPS existed, but neither of us had like a Garmin and we didn't have smartphones. So if we were going somewhere and one person knew the way, but the other person didn't, so they had to follow that person. We had a, a game where the person leading the way would try to lose the other one. And so it turned into like a, a police chase on the highway where we were just driving like, 19 year old idiots. Just driving in the shoulder and stuff like just acting like it was bad boys, too yeah teenagers are idiots.

[00:15:18] Olivia: I was trying to be safe. I was trying to be safe driver and I was crashing my car.

[00:15:23] Zach: Yeah, I mean I've come full circle. I'm back to shitting my pants merging on the highway 

[00:15:30] Victor: I think if you get into a car as a passenger, it's your responsibility to just like quietly accept death. just like embrace it, embrace your powerlessness in the face of like the torrent of, you know, flying metal and just, you know, you don't control your own life. It's okay.

[00:15:51] Zach: the only way I can fly on a plane. I get to the airport early and I go to the bar And I drink my last beer every time I just take the length of the beer to come to peace with my fate.

[00:16:08] Victor: Something freeing about that.

[00:16:10] Zach: Yeah. And then when you get there, you're like,

[00:16:12] Victor: Hey!

[00:16:14] Zach: Hey,

I've never been to, so this is Philadelphia, huh? Cool. You're like, so

stoked to be alive? 

[00:16:20] Olivia: on.

[00:16:22] Zach: A month ago, going to Philly sounded like shit.

[00:16:25] Victor: Yeah, but when you're living on borrowed time like that,

[00:16:28] Zach: Yeah, every day's a gift.

[00:16:30] Victor: right? Even Philadelphia is a gift at that point. Yeah.


[00:16:36] Olivia: So. Guess who suddenly started dreaming again?

[00:16:52] Zach: Oh, do we have a Victor dream?

[00:16:53] Olivia: Victor just was having dreams. He's just been having them.

[00:16:58] Victor: not the last two nights, but they're like, yeah, there were like three days where I was dreaming.

[00:17:02] Zach: Do you have one you

want to get into? 

[00:17:05] Victor: Uh, yeah, I, I wrote one down and so we can, 

[00:17:09] Zach: Oh, sweet. 

Because if you didn't have one, I feel like it was my turn and mine was pretty weak.

[00:17:13] Victor: Well, we might still,

[00:17:15] Zach: Have 

[00:17:15] Victor: might still dip our toe into that.

[00:17:19] Olivia: We could also do my sexy Eeyore dream.

[00:17:22] Zach: Well,

[00:17:22] Victor: Having a lot of those.

[00:17:26] Zach: those

specifically? Um, 

[00:17:30] Olivia: No, I have been having a lot of milk horror dreams.

[00:17:33] Zach: my nickname in high school, by the way.

[00:17:36] Olivia: No,

[00:17:37] Victor: Milkor, I mean? 

[00:17:38] Zach: No, 

[00:17:38] Olivia: Eeyore.

[00:17:39] Victor: Oh, Sexy Eeyore. I don't know where Nickor came from.

[00:17:44] Zach: Nick Horror. That was my wrestling name. My porn name was H. P. Love Shaft.

[00:17:51] Victor: Okay, I really don't remember this dream at all, but I've written it down So it's gonna come back to me as I'm reading it to you guys So dreamt I was with Olivia. I was driving and we were leaving a parking garage I scraped several cars trying to leave And I tried to just keep going But I get stopped by like a vague barrier at the exit. Like I remember I was like I like, hit a car, like scraped a car coming out of my parking spot. And I was trying to get out, and I, there was like, a couple of cars, and it was like, it was getting like, more and more narrow, approaching the exit, and I like, scraped a car, trying to get to the exit, and then by the time I got to where I could leave, there was like, something, something blocking me. and then a guy walked up to my car, and says I hit his car, and asks for my insurance, and I start trying to stall, uh, and then he asks for my phone number, uh, and I take the little piece of paper and a pen and I try and write my number down, but I can't write on the paper, or, like, I can't write my number down, and so this ends with all of us going to my grandmother's house. And she isn't there. Um, and so it's like two people that are with me and Olivia. It's the guy. It's like they were both in the car, I guess. Um, so we all go to my grandmother's house, which is the house I grew up in. and one of the guys was friendly and the other guy was kind of angry and mean. and they were waiting as I tried to write down my phone number.

We were sitting in the dining room. Um, and this has happened to me before in dreams where I'm like trying to do something over and over again and I can't get it right. It's like, it was all wobbly because it was a dream. And so it was like, I kept just trying to write my phone number over and over again on a piece of paper. And it's like, I would write it and I would write the wrong digits or I would like get it mixed up or whatever. I just kept trying over and over again. and it did vaguely feel like a hostage situation. But they just wanted my phone number, then I think, uh, the mean guy escorted Olivia to the bathroom on the other side of the house, and then I heard a struggle, like maybe the guy hit her, and so I ran over and attacked the guy, and like smashed his face into glass, and like attacked this guy. And so it was like, uh, it was like we were fighting our way out now. And so, we return to the dining room, and the nice guy's seen what happens, and he goes for his gun, and I run into the kitchen, and I grab, like, a large kitchen knife. Uh, and then this guy approaches the kitchen, and instead of a gun, um, he has a giant mason jar that was full of, uh, pepperoncini peppers. Uh, it was like, it was like a big glass like water gun, but filled with like, but it was also like a jar of peppers, um, and it had one of the peppers jammed into a hole at the top that kind of looked like the hammer that you cock on a gun. It was just like, like a little plugged pepper in the top of this mason jar. Um, and we have like a standoff where he's got his, his jar and I've got

my knife. Uh, and he starts like spraying the stuff around, he's like spraying his water gun or whatever, and I start like swinging my knife at him and I have written here, he makes a do you feel lucky punk style speech about whether his ten gallon mason jar is full of peppercini juice or gasoline. Uh, and eventually I, like, stabbed the guy with the point of my knife. It was like, I kinda like, get a I like, nick him in the gut. and then he's like, lost it, and he's like, spraying this juice everywhere. And then when his gun is finally empty, he like, staggers and then falls out of the window down into the yard and dies. Uh, and then Olivia and I reflect on how we liked the guy and say he was like, a fun uncle. And, okay. This, this is super, this next part is super weird. I don't know what to make of it. The, I've had this kind of experience before in Dreams, but it's like, I will, I will experience a dream as if I'm getting hit with like, like a swirl of memories like a rapid experience of memories or like, I'm like, really quickly remembering a bunch of stuff I forgot or like going through like rapidly through some some memory experience or whatever it's like It's, it's very hard to describe.

It's kind of psychedelic, a little bit. Um, but, this one ended, that happened, but it went weirdly. It was, um, so, saying something about a fun uncle triggered this, like, fake memory flashback. And I was, like, quickly remembering a bunch of things that aren't true. In like context that I barely remember about like my upbringing and how I got to where I was in this dream or whatever. Uh, and this is... This is weird, you guys are gonna think this means something, but it probably doesn't.

[00:23:26] Olivia: Sure.

[00:23:27] Victor: Uh, but the, the last, the very last thought that I had before I woke up was, I wish my parents had been the ones to abuse me. And then I woke up.

[00:23:45] Zach: Yeah, it sounds meaningful.

[00:23:47] Victor: And 

[00:23:48] Olivia: weren't they though? 

[00:23:50] Victor: That was the first thought I had when I was conscious. 

[00:23:53] Olivia: Shannon.

[00:23:57] Victor: I w I

had this memory of like, Oh, my life would have been easier if my parents had been terrible. And I woke up, I was like,

they were,


[00:24:06] Zach: to who? 

[00:24:06] Victor: That's the thing I had, like, I think in the dream, it wasn't like true to my experience. It was like this notion that, like, Maybe I had been like this is a vague memory, but it's like I feel like in the dream I had like had some like yearning for their presence or something and it's like it would have been easier if like That wasn't there or like I don't know.

I don't know It's very vague better But that is the first thought that I that was the last thought that I had was like, yeah I don't know. So anyway, that's that dream Do you want to do yours now, Zach, or? Having

[00:24:48] Zach: I just skipped the analysis.

[00:24:51] Olivia: Um, didn't you say, so you, you were having dreams like a few nights in a row and didn't you say that several of them, or like at least two of them took place in, um, your grandmother's house.

[00:25:02] Victor: Yes.

[00:25:04] Olivia: Okay. So that's maybe significant.

[00:25:06] Zach: And it's something we've talked about 

[00:25:08] Victor: the other

[00:25:09] Olivia: Yeah. Houses.

[00:25:10] Victor: Yeah. And that's That was the house that I grew up in. I was probably there from, like, seventh grade on. So like, formative years were there. And it was like Like, a lot of the time you'll have a dream where it's like, Oh, you know it's supposed to be this place, but it's this different place, or like Like oh, it's your house, but it's not your house or whatever This was like definitely my grandmother's house had the exact layout of my grandmother's house was like accurately depicting that place

[00:25:41] Olivia: And I don't know if it's, relevant context, but when you lived in this house, you were not living with your parents. You were living with your grandma.

[00:25:49] Victor: Yes. Yeah.

[00:25:52] Zach: Do you want to get into like, or do you have first impressions of this dream that you want to start off with?

[00:25:59] Victor: Yeah. I mean I feel like the the like scraping the cars thing feels like this like Dream incompetence thing that, um, comes up, I, it felt like the same kind of thing that was like the inability to write my name, or like to write my, my phone number or whatever, it was like, just like, dreamy failure to like Accomplish certain things and then I remember being like Like I was being super evasive about wanting to like I was definitely in the wrong and like I don't know why I had this big resistance to like Like giving my insurance information or whatever.

I don't know. I think like I think it felt like a hassle or something I don't know or like I don't know like I felt aggrieved in some way, even though I was definitely the problem. And, um, then like me feeling aggrieved turned into like, Oh, these people are, you know, like holding us hostage or whatever.

[00:27:02] Zach: Yeah.

[00:27:05] Olivia: the pepperoncinis is interesting because like correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you like those Do you

[00:27:11] Victor: I don't know if I've ever tried one.

[00:27:13] Olivia: you're not like a pickled guy? Yeah,

[00:27:15] Victor: Yeah, not really.

[00:27:16] Zach: Oh, I love pepper gene.

[00:27:17] Olivia: I like them too. I'll drink the juice. Mm hmm

[00:27:22] Victor: Yeah, it's not really not my thing. Um, and I remember thinking it was funny when I woke up and wanting to write a day like, I was like, oh, this'll be fun to tell on the podcast.

[00:27:33] Olivia: Was it pepperoncini juice or gasoline?

[00:27:37] Victor: I think it was pepperoncini juice.

[00:27:39] Olivia: Yeah, I 

[00:27:39] Zach: He never sprayed it though.

[00:27:41] Victor: he was spraying it all over the place.

[00:27:42] Zach: Oh, I missed that

[00:27:43] Victor: But I, I don't remember getting like, hit by anything.

[00:27:47] Olivia: Do you remember the other dream that took place in your grandma's house?

[00:27:51] Victor: Not even a little bit. Yeah, maybe. Mmm.

[00:27:54] Zach: 

I was trying to find something on the dream Bible, uh, like adjacent to. the car thing, but they really only have an entry for like, accident, like, like a car accident. But the side swiping of the vehicles is so much more specific than that to me. You know, like a car accidents feels like much more dramatic and, uh, scary.

Whereas, like like you described this as being like, like an incompetence thing where you're like, God, I fucked up a little and now I have to like exchange insurance information.

Like it does, it feels more like shame and embarrassment based than a car accident, which might be like, Fear based, you know,

[00:28:35] Victor: Yeah.

like no one was hurt, there was like, like, uh, monetary damage


[00:28:42] Olivia: Well, do you want to dig into symbols or would you be interested in approaching it with gestalt 

[00:28:51] Victor: I, I don't know that I'm gonna get anywhere with, um, Gestalt. I, uh, it's been, it's been like a couple of days, and like, if I was gonna do it, I would probably do it with the guy with the pepperoncini gun, but like, I don't know that I feel like, much of a connection there. But we can, we can try it.

[00:29:11] Zach: was looking at pepper on dream Bible and then realized, because at the bottom it says, please see salt. That, that this, that it's referring to like pepper, the spice and not

[00:29:21] Victor: Oh, right. 

[00:29:22] Zach: and then not like a hot pepper. So I went to the search bar to type in hot pepper and I typed in H O T P in the auto-filled hot pants.

So apparently hot. 

[00:29:34] Victor: in Dream Bible, hot pants?

[00:29:37] Zach: hot pants are a thing people dream about.

But not 

[00:29:40] Victor: forget my dream. What's hot pants

in the Dream Bible?

[00:29:43] Zach: Oh, it's like hot, like attractive,

[00:29:46] Olivia: Yeah, like, hot pants are like, like, tight pants, right?

[00:29:51] Zach: I guess. So I just, I don't know if I've ever heard that

[00:29:53] Olivia: I think it's like, outdated.

[00:29:55] Victor: Yeah,

[00:29:55] Zach: sounds 

[00:29:56] Olivia: That's like, back when skinny jeans were like, uh, whoa, look at that.

[00:30:01] Zach: yeah, cause yeah, the entry is like how more positive, wonderful or desirable situation is noticing something better, more interesting, fun or nonstop luck, winning success, sexiness. But the example is, a man dreamed of seeing an attractive girl in hot pants. In

waking life, his slob rich father died, leaving him a huge inheritance and the ability to finally clean up after him.

[00:30:26] Victor: There were no hot pants in my dream.

[00:30:29] Olivia: Was the mason jar a hot a water gun?

[00:30:32] Victor: Kind of, yeah.

[00:30:33] Olivia: To dream of a water gun represents decisions that you know aren't positive. It symbolizes an awareness of your choices being improper. It may also reflect decisions that you know are a bit mischievous. A super soaker water gun may reflect a mischievous attitude that doesn't want to lose or likes rubbing it in.

[00:30:53] Victor: Well, definitely, like I feel that I was being mischievous and like, like I said, I was kind of the bad guy in the story.

[00:31:01] Olivia: Yeah, like you weren't doing anything atrocious, but 

[00:31:05] Zach: Sounded like you felt bad about it, though.

[00:31:07] Victor: well, like I, I was definitely in the wrong, I don't know that I felt bad about it.

[00:31:12] Zach: Oh, okay. 

[00:31:13] Victor: Like objectively I was not doing the thing I should have done.

[00:31:18] Zach: I found it, by the way. It's peppers, plural. That's how you get to, like, hot peppers.

[00:31:22] Olivia: Hm.

What are peppers?

[00:31:25] Zach: To dream of vegetable peppers represents feeling of noticing why it's good for you being more interesting, risky, dangerous, or potentially lethal than before. Oh yeah, we talked about this in, oh, nevermind, it never aired.

[00:31:40] Olivia: Oh yeah, the food episode. 

[00:31:41] Zach: Yeah. 

[00:31:42] Olivia: One day.

[00:31:43] Zach: I had a dream about peppers on a sandwich, but anyway. Spicing up a situation or some area of your life. Noticing that behavior is not terrible about why it wants to make life more interesting. Upping the level of interest or risk in a situation or relationship. dream of bell peppers represents feelings about something that's good for you being more interesting or risky than usual that cares about you for the rest of your life. Possibly a symbol for feelings of relationship loyalty mixed with an interesting sex life. Loyalty that likes noticing it isn't boring, spicy family life, or doing something more interesting than usual with family,


[00:32:21] Olivia: family 

[00:32:22] Zach: yeah, not being boring with your family like it's normal, not having to speak about something

being made more interesting, accepting yourself the way you are without having to be bored by it, to dream of a jalapeno pepper, represents feelings of noticing why it's good for you being more interesting or risky than usual, or So it's like fun, spicy, risky thing but not, but it's just that, it's fun, it's not, like, bad.

[00:33:03] Olivia: of a whole reflection of, of the pepper water gun itself, right? Like, it wasn't a real gun. It wasn't even like a gun full of gasoline. It was, it was full of pepper juice. so like, yeah, definitely not lethal. 

[00:33:19] Zach: Conversely, 

[00:33:20] Olivia: a little spicy,

[00:33:22] Zach: the gasoline entry is much shorter. It's a dream if gasoline represents emotional or psychological sustenance, something that provides the energy, resources, or motivation to move forward. A sign that your life needs to be re energized in some way. There may be a situation in your life that you are struggling to get a handle on. so not as overtly positive, but I wonder if there's something there with the, like, is it pepper or is it gasoline question.

[00:33:48] Victor: The gasoline thing felt like, well, like, gonna burn your house down, basically,

is it, is what it felt like. It felt like the point of it was less about the gasoline and more about, like, the threat of this is a more dangerous weapon than it appears. But maybe it is, like, maybe the meaning is connected.

[00:34:08] Olivia: Oh, and he was kind of asking you, like, do you want to take this risk, right? Yeah.

[00:34:14] Victor: Sure, yeah.

[00:34:15] Zach: Yeah, Super Soaker full of gasoline does feel like a Batman villain kind

of weapon, whereas a Super Soaker full of pepperoncinis feels like a jackass sketch.

[00:34:28] Olivia: Well, do you want to gestalt the pepperoncini guy? 

[00:34:31] Victor: Sure, we can try it.

[00:34:32] Zach: Let's see the one with

uncle energy.

[00:34:34] Victor: Yeah, the uncle guy.

[00:34:35] Olivia: the fun I liked him, he was like a fun uncle. I've got, um, these pulled up. 

[00:34:41] Victor: Okay, let me try and, let me just try and get the zone here.

Okay, let's try

[00:34:49] Olivia: As the pepperoncini uncle, My purpose is,

[00:34:56] Victor: it. To make things right.

[00:35:00] Olivia: My goal is,

[00:35:04] Victor: To get the phone number.

[00:35:06] Olivia: My biggest fear is,

[00:35:11] Victor: I'm not, I'm not getting anything. I'm not sure I'm making a good connection here.

[00:35:22] Olivia: We can come back to it. I love,

[00:35:25] Victor: My brother got

[00:35:27] Olivia: I hate,

[00:35:29] Victor: nothing.

[00:35:34] Olivia: I desire 

[00:35:35] Victor: Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm not able to get into the headspace of this character right now.

[00:35:43] Olivia: Okay.

I think it's interesting. I also, when I've done the gestalt, those two questions, I fear and I hate sometimes really get me stuck. And I wonder like, I wonder what that maybe says. Like the, I have a hard time going there to that place. With those questions, and those are the two that got you stuck, too.

[00:36:07] Zach: I mean, it

feels more internal, right. To a character like, so like purpose and goal, you can almost kind of, if you're not connecting with, with this character, you can at least take a guess at purpose and goal because they're displayed through actions.

[00:36:26] Victor: That's what I feel like I'm doing right now. I don't, I don't feel like I'm, like, able to really... Like, feel the character.

[00:36:36] Zach: Yeah. Maybe that's not what I had the most energy. I mean,

[00:36:39] Victor: That's possible. Yeah, or maybe it's just, you know, been a few days and... Or I'm not in the right headspace or something.

[00:36:46] Zach: it's one of those things where like we've said before about, you know, just cracking a dream in general, it would be weird if we batted a thousand, like I think it would come across like this podcast was staged or something.

[00:36:59] Olivia: What do you think about the, the other guy there? So, it was this guy and his brother were there?

[00:37:05] Victor: Yeah, I think they were siblings.

[00:37:07] Olivia: And did it feel like he was protecting his brother?

[00:37:10] Victor: Yeah, I think they both wanted the same thing, but I feel like it was the nice guy, it felt like his car, like it felt like his deal,

[00:37:23] Olivia: And the nice guy's the guy with the pepperoncinis, right?

[00:37:26] Victor: yes, and the guy that like, there was some struggle with you, um, I don't. I think he was there to help the nice guy.

[00:37:36] Zach: do you remember when, when, once you attacked him and like shoved his face into that glass? Do you remember feeling like. He for sure was gonna hurt Olivia and therefore you were doing the right thing or do you feel like it was, um, I, I don't know, overprotective,

[00:37:52] Victor: Yeah, it, it felt like, yeah, no, it did feel like there was, like, a conflict. Like,

[00:38:00] Zach: like he was a real threat, I guess is what I was asking.

[00:38:02] Victor: like, like, I might have, I might have, I don't know that, like, all of you was in, like, a lot of danger. But there was definitely like a, like an actual scuffle that I was responding to.

[00:38:15] Zach: Yeah,

[00:38:16] Victor: Um, but then at the same time, it was kind of like a, also like, Oh, now's our chance to get out of here, to like break out of here, kind of thing. I think it's like, it triggered me to like leap into action, but then it wasn't just about. That was also about getting us out of there, but yeah I don't know like if I if I hadn't done that like I feel like my imagining of what happened there is that like Like very like escorting a hostage and kind of situation like maybe Olivia Misstepped or did something that he didn't like and so he like smacked her, but that it probably would have Like, stopped there, but I was responding to that. Does that make sense?

[00:39:00] Zach: yeah,

[00:39:00] Victor: Like, I don't know that, like, he was gonna, like, kill her or something.

[00:39:03] Zach: but the overall situation was worth getting out of. So it wasn't like your feelings around that action that you took were,

[00:39:11] Victor: Yeah, I don't think

[00:39:13] Zach: right?

[00:39:13] Victor: Yeah, I don't I didn't feel like that was, like, a mistake. Yeah. No, that that answers that. Yeah, it wasn't a mistake to do.

And like, I acknowledge that I, I consciously can see like, well I was in the wrong, but like, I didn't feel like I was doing the wrong thing during the dream. I didn't like, feel like the bad guy or something, I just felt like, um, like I had my motives and they had their motives or whatever. It was a very morally neutral interaction on my end.

[00:39:43] Zach: No, it does sound like you guys were like. hostage, there was just like a good cop and bad cop dynamic with the people running the scenario. I was just curious about your like, yeah, but your predominant feeling in the matter, whether it was, you know, anger, shame, like, I don't know.

[00:40:03] Victor: Yeah, I, like, yeah, I felt like the whole time I was, like, trying to, like, I was struggling to write my phone number. It felt like... I felt like I started out being intentionally evasive and then it kind of shifted into like not being able to comply, not being able to do the thing that I needed to do. And like, it felt like I shouldn't have to, like, it felt like, um, not my fault or not my problem or whatever.

[00:40:33] Zach: Interesting. 

[00:40:34] Olivia: I feel like there's, um, a couple of things in here that point to this being a good thing. about like a past thing, um, rather than like a, like a present thing that's on your mind. Like it be taking place in, um, your grandma's house and then the like memory flood at the end and the like the thought about your parents.

I, I feel like all of that points to this being about something from your past and Maybe if you, is there anything like that was coming up for you around the time of the stream, something that's been on your mind that you can connect to that?

[00:41:12] Victor: just reflecting on the week? Um, it's been like It's been busy. I've been like, I've been, I've been working on something kind of intently. And so I, I haven't, uh, I haven't had a whole lot of downtime. I think the stream was on Tuesday and I think that we were anticipating having to go do like a, like a family get together thing that, um, felt like kind of like an obligation of like, uh, man, it's going to be. a pain to get down there, like, on a Wednesday night after work, but feel like I have to do this, and so we're gonna do it, or I'd feel guilty if I didn't, so I'm gonna do it. Um, and then, yeah, yeah, I don't know, broadly, it's just been, like, like, a lot to worry about, a lot on, to think about, and then also, just, like, to, Or like having a hard time finding time to, uh, like relax, you know, which I think I, I sound like a broken record. I feel like I said that a lot, but it's been, it's been an emblematic week of that, of like, well, I'd like to relax.

I'd like to do just, I'd like to just like do nothing. I'm gonna work on this stuff, and if I wasn't working on this stuff, there'd be this other stuff that I should be doing, and if I wasn't doing that other stuff, there's other stuff that I really should be doing. Um, and there's that kinda, that's kinda where I've been at this week, so. So I guess a lot of like, obligation, or a lot of like, um, responsibility stuff. Lately. Um, and so maybe, you know, because I was trying to evade like a responsibility, maybe that's a connection.

[00:43:19] Zach: Yeah, that fits the theme of like a quasi hostage situation.

[00:43:23] Victor: Sure. Yeah. It's like, Oh, there's this thing I should be doing and I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing it. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is.

[00:43:31] Zach: Especially if you're feeling like, burnt out, and like, therefore, I'm just relating at this point, cause I, I've been super busy and then feeling like I'm not living up to expectations in certain departments, um, namely at work for me, but like maybe something different for you, but like I like just not quite like meeting expectations, but then part of me is like, I'm tired.

I don't care. That's like what the. But writing down the phone number thing makes me think of if, if the, you know, quote unquote hostage situation is like obligation.

[00:44:11] Victor: Yeah. Then that might be, that does kind of feel right. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I've, I created obligations by being, uh, irresponsible, trying to get out of the parking space or whatever, and, um, and the rest of the dream is me avoiding it and then, like, getting around it by, like, yeah, cause I don't really deal with, with it, like, like the violent, the violent attack that I take is not really, like, The solution, I guess.

I mean, I guess it solved the problem, but it wasn't really like, I didn't ever really like, come around to doing what I was supposed to do.

[00:44:47] Zach: Yeah. But you also didn't feel like you had to do it or that you should have had to do it.

[00:44:51] Victor: Sure, yeah. You got any thoughts, Olivia?

[00:44:54] Olivia: Yeah, I guess just the,

yeah, just like the, well, this is like kind of come up for both of us recently, like. Feeling obligated to, like appease family members in a certain way, or like keep other people happy and keep the peace. but yeah, I don't know. Yeah.

[00:45:12] Victor: Yeah.

[00:45:13] Zach: Yeah, family did come up a lot in multiple Dream Bible entries. Came up in the Pepper entry.

[00:45:18] Olivia: Yeah.

[00:45:19] Zach: You, refer to this guy as like an uncle kind of character. Like, or as having uncle vibes. And he's

with his brother.

[00:45:26] Olivia: hmm. Yeah, I, I, I really think that this is like a family related dream. 

[00:45:32] Zach: And he's at your grandma's house.

[00:45:35] Victor: Yeah.

[00:45:36] Olivia: 

What other symbols did you feel were...

[00:45:38] Zach: I had a couple

pulled up. Oh, go ahead.

[00:45:41] Victor: I was gonna say maybe like, um, parking garage.

[00:45:44] Olivia: Oh yeah, we've read that one before.

[00:45:46] Victor: That's where it starts, it's you and me trying to get out of a parking garage. I thought it was interesting, like, how I got stopped from leaving. Like, I just want like, I was trying to get out, and like, I was almost there. I should have, by all rights, been able to leave. And my dream threw, like, some vague bullshit up to keep me from leaving. So that I had to deal with this guy coming to my car.

[00:46:11] Olivia: Hmm.

[00:46:12] Zach: I can only


[00:46:13] Victor: is weird. It was almost like video game y, you know? It was like, there, I remember seeing something in my way, but like, it definitely felt like I hit like a boundary of a video game where it's like, you're not allowed into this area yet. You have to, you have to complete your quest in the, in the parking garage of getting guilt tripped by a guy for a thing you did wrong.

[00:46:36] Olivia: I found something that's like, uh,

maybe close. in the driving entry there's lots of like, sub categories, but if your view is blocked or obstructed while you're driving does that feel...

[00:46:48] Victor: I don't know,

we, and we could read it, but I don't know that that feels applicable.

[00:46:53] Olivia: Well, so, okay, so driving is all about control, um, decision making, and, or the direction a situation your experience is taking. And so all of these little sub paragraphs here... Are kind of like what you would expect, right? So like, if you're missing your turn, it's like you're not paying adequate attention to a situation.

If you're driving and you can't see the road ahead, it's a sign that you don't know where you're headed in life. so like,

[00:47:21] Victor: I

[00:47:22] Olivia: when you were describing this dream, I was picturing like, It sounded like the garage and the part of the garage that you were driving through was getting more and more narrow, right?

it's like claustrophobic and like, I don't know, like inadequate space to maneuver. Um, I'm just trying to relate that back to like

the, what driving means.

[00:47:46] Zach: Yeah, the parking entry is also parking structure, just redirected to parking, but it's also about decision making, but it's just, you know, about having to like stop focusing on a goal or like putting things aside a parking lot is an issue you're or a situation that you're stuck in. Pretty much the same as the driving entry.

Just, you know, not in motion.

[00:48:07] Olivia: parking lot is a situation that you're stuck in. A lot, a parking lot and a garage are very similar and that, and you were literally stuck in the parking garage.

[00:48:18] Victor: Yeah, yeah, so, uh, being, like, driving is decision making, and parking is like, like, maybe it just being like in your head, like no movement on stuff.

[00:48:30] Olivia: Yeah, it sounds like drag, like. And you were trying to drive, but you were being stopped.

[00:48:35] Victor: Yes. And then I don't remember how we got to my grandmother's house, it was just like, we went, we went from being in the garage to being at my grandmother's house, there's no driving there or anything. 

[00:48:48] Olivia: like, I, my best guess at what that means, just like symbol wise, is like feeling stuck, and like, kind of, having no choice but to engage with this, this situation, 

[00:49:01] Victor: Or like, like, that I am making mistakes or acting recklessly because I'm, I don't have like, space to operate or whatever, or I can't get, I can't accomplish my goal of leaving the stuck place that I'm in. That feels right actually.

[00:49:19] Olivia: Okay.

[00:49:20] Victor: That's interesting.

[00:49:21] Zach: Did the phone number in the, in the writing down of it feel like,

um, what?

[00:49:28] Olivia: Oh, maybe you didn't hear that. I just dropped my phone. It was very loud. 

[00:49:31] Zach: Oh no, I didn't hear it at all. Um, the writing down of the phone number, did that feel significant? Like a symbol? Or was that just like... Cause that is what you would do in a, in

a, you did

[00:49:43] Victor: that is what I would do. Yeah.

[00:49:45] Zach: right? Yeah, no, it's, it's like a real life mechanic. So did it just feel like that? Or was, was that like significant cause there's a dream Bible entry for phone number.

[00:49:53] Victor: um, that's interesting. Well, there was a lot of that. I mean, it was about I need to give this information to like, make this right? Because I've I've injured this person, basically, like I did damage. So this is how I even things out. but I spent a lot of time trying to write my phone number over and over again.

So yeah, maybe there's something to phone number.

[00:50:17] Zach: Um,

yeah, I mean it's real short and it feels like it ties to the other stuff like thematically. It's a dream of a phone number represents what is required of you to initiate a desired experience, a resource, ability, person, or situation that you need in order to make something happen,

[00:50:35] Victor: yeah. Yeah, no, this makes, feels like this makes some sense. If you look at it through the lens of me, like, you look at it like it's a project stream,

[00:50:46] Olivia: Yeah, I was just thinking 

[00:50:48] Victor: If it's a, if it's a project stream, Then it makes a lot of sense.

[00:50:52] Olivia: But I'm, like, still convinced that that second part is, like, a family dream.

[00:50:57] Victor: Yeah, no, I mean, that makes sense to me.

[00:51:00] Zach: but

the, but it sounds like those, like, at least this week have been like. At odds kind of, you know, at least

like time wise, like you have these projects you're working on and then these family obligations and you're starting a family of your own, which is, you know, uh, also something you want to be focused on. so yeah, I don't know. Maybe you're just like feeling super spread thin.

[00:51:23] Victor: yeah, and, uh, like, I just feel like I've been, I've been stuck in the same place for a long time of like, I want to get something off the ground. Like I want to get the ball rolling with something. And I feel like if I can manage to do that, then I can, then I can let that thing do its thing. I can, I can like give that the appropriate amount of space and time And make more room in my life for the things that actually matter, you know, like be more present in my life and be more present, like, in my relationships and be more present with like this exciting thing that is happening, uh, in, in my family with Olivia. Um, and just, I am locked into this place where it's like, I'm throwing myself at trying to figure out. a thing that, that feels like satisfying on, on that level. Like where, where, like, I know what I'm doing with that part of my life. so that I can be more present in the other stuff. But like, while I'm busy doing that, I'm not as present as I need to be in everything else. And I feel like torn, you know, torn, torn between those things of like, well, if I can, if I can, Crack the thing that, like, I'm working on that is, like, that's, like, working, you know? That's functioning. That's, like, that's, like, productive. Instead of just spinning my tires all the time, then things will be so much better, right? If I can't... Like, until I've cracked a thing, until I've figured that out and it feels like I'm constantly torn between, like, well, do I throw myself into that as much as I can to try and get to that better place? Or do I, like, put a pin in that or, like, give that less of my attention, but does that, so that I can, like, you know, focus in more on day to day stuff, but then is that, like, putting me further away from the better place that I'm trying to, I'm saying?


[00:53:37] Zach: I follow 

[00:53:37] Victor: But like, and so, when I get really sucked into something like that,

[00:53:42] Zach: What does cracking the thing look


to you? Like you're

talking about 

[00:53:46] Victor: I, no, no it's not, it's not artistic, like I'm excited about the music thing happen, like I've got, I got an album release show happening next weekend, like, I'm like, that's chugging along,

[00:53:58] Zach: I wish I could be there for that.

[00:53:59] Victor: We'll send you a vinyl, um, but no, I just like, I want to have some kind of like, I want to have a, I want to have some way to like, have like a, like a, I mean, I'm struggling to, I'm, I'm, I'm having a hard time even saying it. Cause it's, it feels like embarrassing to say, I want to find a way to, to like make money myself Disconnected from my job doesn't have to fully support me doesn't have to take care of everything but I want to be able to do a thing and Be able to like at least partly Support myself with it and have it be a thing that I'm doing that I like doing that I care about And that's never gonna be music. Like yeah, I'm just I have zero Interest or inclination in trying to make money with music. It's just a thing that I do because I love it. And so I love it, and it's cool, it's a fun thing to have there, but it is purely just a thing that I do for the art of it, like, no interest in trying to make money off of that. So it's like, I constantly am bouncing around, it's like, well maybe I can do this, and that would be like a trajectory for me, or maybe I can do that, or maybe I'll come back around to this other thing that I was working on. I'm constantly fucking digging away at that because, like, 

I'm not real happy with my job. I'm not real happy with my career, uh, uh, trajectory or prospects or whatever, and it's like,

[00:55:28] Zach: you'd like to be more self-directed,

[00:55:31] Victor: yeah, and I'm not exactly eager, yeah, yeah, and I'm not exactly eager to, like, Jump into another day job either like so maybe I'm fucking an idiot for trying to figure something out but like I really We get a lot of satisfaction out of figuring something out that I can do for myself, um, eh, I sound like an asshole, 

[00:55:54] Olivia: lots of people do do that, though, you know? Like...

 You're not an asshole for thinking that's a possibility. This whole fucking country is built on like selling that possibility to people.

[00:56:06] Victor: what makes me sound like an asshole.

[00:56:08] Olivia: But it, like, I get that it's like, it's not like just an easy peasy thing that anyone can just do, you know, but like it isn't impossible.

And a lot of people do it. And a lot of people have great success with. Like starting their own business, um, 

[00:56:26] Zach: Yeah. Especially with your experience, 

[00:56:27] Victor: like.

[00:56:28] Zach: your experience and skillsets. One, once you actually described what breaking the thing looks like to you, I was like, oh yeah, that, that sounds totally doable. Because at first I thought you were talking about music or, or a project like that, something creative

[00:56:42] Victor: Oh,

[00:56:43] Zach: and I,

[00:56:44] Victor: no, I have no, I have no ambitions of ever getting any success in that.

That'd be fun, but no, absolutely 

[00:56:50] Zach: but it was, it was. 

[00:56:51] Victor: getting, I'm, I am 32,


[00:56:55] Zach: And it was cognitive, cognitively dissonant with the other thing you were saying, because what you're describing is like trying to break through on something that would allow you to have more time, you know, with Olivia and, and, and your relationships and the people in your life. But like, if you're, even if your album did like. Taylor Swift. Good. You now you have to make the next one and you have to like tour on it. Like it would take you away


[00:57:20] Victor: totally.

[00:57:21] Zach: succeed in that realm. But you're, you're talking more about being like self employed or like not having a boss or just being in control of your, income and that, that sounds like totally doable.

[00:57:35] Victor: That's that's where my head has been at for a long time and I just like have not cracked that. I'm partly because I'm really particular about how I approach it. I'm like a real. Do stuff by myself kind of person. So it's like trying to find a way to do something that I can do independently without really relying on other people is hard, you know,

um, and maybe a fool's errand.

And I've just wasted countless hours of my life trying to figure out something to do with myself. But, um, I don't, I don't really know how to operate differently, I guess, I don't know.

[00:58:13] Zach: I don't think it's a fool's Aaron. I think it's realistic, not easy. It's not like easy or simple, but it's more realistic

[00:58:20] Victor: Yeah,

but now I don't have my my rockstar ambitions ended like days ago

[00:58:28] Olivia: Ha ha ha.

[00:58:30] Zach: Days ago, earlier this morning.

[00:58:32] Victor: I was thinking about it this morning. I was like nah, that's that's not gonna happen

[00:58:36] Olivia: So, coming back to the dream, is there like, so there, in the dream, there's this thing that you're avoiding, right? the situation or thing that you are avoiding engaging with, do you have a sense for what that might be?

[00:58:50] Victor: I feel like so like like today like I worked really Single mindedly on a project I'm, I'm, hoping to one day make money with. and I put a lot of time into that and, um, I was tired at the end of the day from putting a lot of time into that. And if I wasn't doing that, I probably could have done some things that are just like good for life and soul and Like dead stuff that was like, you know good for just day to day living and Done more to like prepare for a starting a family and things like that But instead I worked really single mindedly on this thing.

I hope we'll make money and I do that a lot and Part of me feels like a tension between like my impulse to do that ' cause if it does work, it will be, it will feel really good and put me in a really good place, I think. but if it doesn't work, thank God. What am I doing with myself? I'm like throwing my life away.

I should be embracing like the day today, joys of the day or whatever.

[00:59:59] Zach: Yeah. 

[00:59:59] Olivia: it's like this, it's like you throw yourself into... pursuing like a, a way to be autonomous or not reliant on your day job so that you can, relax. And at the same time, the act of throwing yourself into that is also you avoiding relaxation.

[01:00:22] Victor: Yes. Okay. 100% yes.

[01:00:25] Olivia: so I think that's your problem.

[01:00:27] Victor: would say. Yeah. That's what you would say.

[01:00:29] Olivia: Because I, I strongly believe that say you like, cracked it, that you, your like, thing takes off and, and it's like, you don't have to worry about that anymore. And it's like, you can chill.

[01:00:45] Victor: out.

[01:00:46] Olivia: Would you though?

[01:00:47] Victor: I think I'd be a lot better.

[01:00:51] Olivia: Really?

[01:00:52] Victor: Yeah, I do. I do

think I would be a lot better.

[01:00:54] Olivia: Okay.

[01:00:55] Victor: I know, I know that's hard to believe,

but I do think, I do think I would be a lot better than I

[01:01:00] Olivia: I think you, it's a compulsion of yours to, keep your mind busy.

[01:01:06] Victor: I do like having my mind busy, that's true. Um, 

[01:01:12] Olivia: yeah, I don't know if there's any way to tie this stream up, but, Do you have any, like, final thoughts about it? 

[01:01:19] Victor: It does make some sense to me now. think what, what I'm getting out of this is I need to work even harder. 

[01:01:29] Zach: you made fun of me on a previous episode for earnestly coming to the same conclusion about a similar


[01:01:36] Olivia: Yeah.

[01:01:36] Zach: Like I had a dream about that was telling me to relax and I, I, my response was like, so I just got to buckle down like really figure out how to get to a place where I can relax.

[01:01:48] Victor: But you, I mean, you, you get where I'm coming from, right? 

[01:01:51] Zach: Oh, yeah, for sure. 

[01:01:52] Victor: tension. It's like thinking that you can like, dig your way through the mountain, right? And stopping is Well, okay, now you're just in a mountain. it's a men, it's a, it's a mental game, I guess. I


[01:02:07] Olivia: mental illness.

[01:02:08] Victor: know what the, I don't know what the right way to approach it. This, I don't know what the solution there 


[01:02:13] Olivia: Yes, that's what I've been saying.

[01:02:16] Victor: I didn't understand anything either of you just said. Breaking up. Zach, are you breaking up?


[01:02:24] Zach: person.

[01:02:25] Victor: shouldn't be bad. I mean, maybe it's the headphones when my headphones are busted.

[01:02:28] Olivia: well, good news for you. I single handedly met our deductible on our health insurance, so you could get therapy for 25 a session for the rest of this year if you wanted to.

[01:02:41] Victor: I don't trust him

[01:02:42] Zach: She's done most of the work. Scientologist and, uh, isn't allowed to do therapy.

[01:02:51] Victor: Right. And just every time I do it, my Dayton level goes up. Isn't that right, Dayton?

[01:02:59] Zach: And then you get cattle prodded by Tom Cruise.

[01:03:01] Victor: Yeah. He keeps requesting me specifically, I don't know. I don't know why, it's supposed to be a random draw, but.

[01:03:09] Zach: I think you just make the funniest noise. But, uh, yeah, I feel like a lot of times when we're, when we're doing this, it, uh, the, the symbology or the Gestalt or like whatever, the conversation, whatever methods we use, it ends up being generated. Like, like, sometimes it gets off or it feels like it's getting off track from the, uh, the beat by beat interpretation. Like, like it feels like there are, um, unconnected threads. You know what I mean?

Like there are, there are symbols that have yet to be like specifically nailed down or like, pieces of the story of the dream that have yet to be interpreted. But I, I, yeah, I feel like if it, if it gets us to a point where we're like talking about a thing that like clearly seems like it's been on the dreamers mind and, and they have a lot to like say about it and like to express about it, it's gotta be about that thing.


[01:04:09] Olivia: Yeah, at least partially, you know,

[01:04:11] Victor: Yeah, and like, with this dream, I really do feel like the idea of like, me, like, first me scraping the cars does feel connected to like, ways in which I feel like maybe I'm, I'm dropping the ball or not being as, not being at once, you know, the way that it would be nice if I could be, you know, and then like this, like this whole thing about me being really resistant to. meeting this obligation just it really does feel like it resonates with like some like resistance or like resentment I have about like having to do these things that I know I should do when I feel like I'm doing so many other things you know that's a that's a thing that I'm like Trying to, work my way through into a, like, land in a healthy place with and it makes a lot of sense to me that I, that I'd be dreaming about it.



[01:05:14] Victor: Yeah. So anyway, I didn't see any of that before we started talking about it and now that we're talking about it, it feels like what it's about. So we got somewhere.

Thank you for listening to the Jung and the Restless. 

[01:05:25] Zach: You can follow us on social media at the Jung and the restless pod and submit your dreams for interpretation to the Jung and the restless pod at 

[01:05:34] Olivia: And as we always say, 

you don't 

[01:05:36] Victor: have to call your parents, 

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