EPISODE

31. Eat My Dick and Leave Me Alone!

Remind Me Later It’s a double Zach dream ‘sode featuring a date night that gets extra saucy when Zach spills…...

Remind Me Later

It’s a double Zach dream ‘sode featuring a date night that gets extra saucy when Zach spills Vindaloo on the Italian leather seats of some rich guy’s Corvette, and a sweet little dream about a negligent doctor who overlooks Zachs high blood pressure in favor of a big, exciting Sumo Wrestler in the waiting room. And did you know some octopuses detach their dicks and throw them at predators like a little torpedo?

About Dream Bible:

Dream Bible is a free online A to Z dream dictionary dedicated to helping people understand the meaning of their dreams. Unlike other dream interpretation websites or books we extensively research dream symbols by interviewing people about the events occurring in their lives at the time of their dreams.  Inspired by the work of Gillian Holloway Ph.D, we are using a database of over 350,000 dream reports to create the world's most practical dream dictionary based on the waking life experiences of regular people.

http://www.dreambible.com/

Dream Bible entries used in this episode:

https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=red

https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=blue

https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=doctor

https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Sumo+Wrestler

https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Blood+Pressure

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Check out our website for episode transcripts: https://thejungandtherestlesspodcast.com/

Submit your dreams for interpretation to thejungandtherestlesspod@gmail.com


Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Jung and the Restless. I'm Olivia. I'm Victor. And I'm Zach. And this is the podcast that knows the secret, awful origins of Frosted Flakes. so a few days ago, I, I tried to cook tofu in the air fryer and it, like, it would've turned out better if I had used foil, I think. And then today as I was leaving work, I was thinking I should try that, I should make tofu again, but like use foil.

[00:00:46] Zach: But I don't know what the rules on an air fryer is. So I was like, I should Google first if that's you safe. Um, so I put it in the words, can you and Google auto-filled. Used tinfoil in an air fryer, and I hadn't, I hadn't googled a recipe or looked up anything about air fryers. It's 

just 

[00:01:05] Victor: knew.

[00:01:06] Zach: yeah, 

[00:01:07] Olivia: I think it's

listening. 

[00:01:09] Victor: Yeah, 

[00:01:10] Olivia: let me see what happens when I Google. Can

you 

[00:01:13] Zach: but I wasn't talking to anybody.

Both, both these

[00:01:16] Olivia: reading

your 

mind. 

[00:01:17] Zach: Yeah, all of all of this was internal.

[00:01:20] Olivia: Let's see when I search, can

[00:01:23] Victor: Okay, I'm gonna try this too.

[00:01:27] Zach: It just can, you are the only words that I got 

[00:01:29] Olivia: I get, 

Can you take Adderall while pregnant?

[00:01:31] Zach: Well, I 

feel like 

[00:01:31] Victor: well that was a recent question that you asked. I get. Okay, so I don't, uh, I don't use my Mac for a lot of like web surfing. So, um, when I type in, can you, it's the top option is can you run it?

[00:01:47] Zach: That came up for me too. Just now, just now. I mean, my top two are the little clock icons saying that I have searched it, 

[00:01:55] Victor: Uh, 

[00:01:56] Zach: know. Um,

[00:01:57] Olivia: Wait, so how do I find the ones that are

not 

clock 

[00:02:00] Zach: the next icon below that is a magnifying glass, meaning it's like a popular search. And for me it's Can you run it as well?

[00:02:07] Olivia: My 

[00:02:07] Victor: number two is can you unsend an

email? 

[00:02:10] Zach: Yeah, 

[00:02:10] Olivia: number two is, can you drink distilled water?

[00:02:13] Victor: I have 

that

one. 

[00:02:14] Zach: My, my third one is, can you Feel The Love Tonight by Elton John?

[00:02:19] Victor: I've got, can you freeze cheese?

[00:02:21] Olivia: that too.

[00:02:21] Victor: too.

[00:02:23] Olivia: And then I've got the 2019 film. Can you keep a secret?

[00:02:26] Victor: have that too.

[00:02:27] Olivia: And then the last one is, can you get pregnant from pre-comm?

[00:02:31] Victor: My last one is, can you microwave styrofoam?

[00:02:34] Zach: my.

[00:02:35] Olivia: Oh

wait, that's also my last one.

[00:02:37] Zach: My last one is, can you text 9 1 1 Los Angeles? Can you text 9 1 1?

[00:02:44] Olivia: Did anyone else get, can you take Ibuprofen and

Tylenol?

[00:02:47] Zach: No, 

[00:02:48] Victor: Okay, I'm, I've definitely

Googled 

that 

before. 

[00:02:50] Zach: I definitely have to. and yeah, but you're supposed to wait like a few hours.

[00:02:55] Olivia: Can you freeze cheese?

[00:02:56] Zach: Yeah, but it loses 

flavor. 

[00:02:59] Olivia: You would know.

[00:03:00] Zach: Mm-hmm. I would know certain cheeses are better than others to like, the harder the cheese, the safer it is to freeze.

[00:03:07] Olivia: Seems like a fucking cursed thing to do

[00:03:10] Victor: Yeah. 

[00:03:10] Zach: Yeah. I 

mean, 

[00:03:11] Olivia: bread, Ugh,

[00:03:12] Zach: if you ever, um, like let ice cream melt and then refreeze it.

[00:03:17] Olivia: it's a different thing.

[00:03:18] Victor: It's 

awful. 

[00:03:19] Zach: Yeah. It gets all shitty and like, um, it gets the texture of like Italian ice. That's what happens to like softer cheeses if you freeze them.

[00:03:27] Olivia: Gross. Like the crystals and that freeze, and then on thaw and it's a different beast.

[00:03:35] Victor: Can I run it?

[00:03:36] Olivia: Can you run it?

[00:03:37] Zach: Yeah. Why was that our first one? What does that mean?

[00:03:40] Victor: PC game, benchmark. What can I run? Can your PC run it? Can I run it Check system across? So I guess that's 

like for seeing if you can like play games on your computer.

[00:03:53] Olivia: I thought it was like that YouTube channel that's like, can you blend it? And it's just a guy putting shit in a blender.

[00:04:00] Zach: And then does he give a breakdown at the end where he is like dancer is of.

[00:04:04] Olivia: Probably.

[00:04:06] Victor: I definitely think like the best thing on the internet is just the guy with the hydraulic press. Yeah. Like that's the greatest achievement that the internet is produced.

[00:04:15] Olivia: It's not just the one guy. Right.

[00:04:17] Victor: I think it's mostly

the 

one 

guy. 

[00:04:19] Zach: I know that the videos,

those videos always end up in, um, like oddly satisfying on Reddit.

I got really sucked into those guys, uh, who they have a YouTube channel. I can't remember what their, their name is, but, uh, They just, they somehow, for some reason they have access to this like really tall tower and underneath it is like a cordoned off sand pit basically.

[00:04:46] Olivia: I just

[00:04:47] Victor: are these wizards. 

[00:04:49] Zach: Yeah. They cast spells like Chuck is off a tits. This, yeah. Yeah. They, they would just throw shit off of it. but they, you know, they come up with these loose premises, like how, um, cuz there are platforms like of increasing height up this tower. So the, like how high do you have to get before a bowling ball ceases to bounce and instead breaks and they'll lay down like a concrete slab and drop it on that.

[00:05:15] Victor: I wanna watch that video now. That sounds so interesting. How high do you

have 

to be? 

[00:05:19] Zach: I don't know. It is preferable to watch high though.

[00:05:23] Victor: Sure. Yeah.

[00:05:24] Zach: That's how you lose a whole evening.

[00:05:25] Victor: There was this video my boss showed me of these guys that like dig a little like it, that it's like something to do with like the quality of the dirt. You can like, Uh, dig down and maintain its structure. And so they were just building these like elaborate pools, just 

[00:05:45] Olivia: those are so 

[00:05:45] Victor: it was like real life Minecraft.

They were just like digging down into actual earth and making full structures out of just holes. They're digging in the ground.

It 

was kinda 

[00:05:54] Zach: Oh, weird. Yeah. That sounds satisfying to watch, but not to do, 

which is what the internet is for.

[00:05:59] Victor: you have to be in a very specific, like part of the world, I think for that to even be possible. Like I, our dirt here definitely would not do that.

[00:06:08] Zach: Yeah. The earth is too sodden in Seattle.

[00:06:11] Victor: Yeah.

[00:06:13] Zach: I like the one where they filled the ant hill with concrete. We just, just discuss our favorite internet videos for the rest of the 

[00:06:20] Victor: Yeah, I was gonna say our, like our chitchat at the top has really degraded into just like, are you watching anything good lately? Are you seeing any good shows?

[00:06:28] Zach: 

But, usually Olivia gets bored of us rambling about stuff and it's like, who has a dream? 

[00:06:35] Olivia: Anyone have any dreams?

[00:06:38] Zach: Yeah. I have a few that we can talk about. You want to, you wanna get into 'em?

[00:06:43] Olivia: Yeah.

[00:06:43] Zach: All right.

 Just gimme a second to think about how to tell the first dream. Cause there's a lot of parts that aren't pertinent, I don't think. And there's some that are like sexually graphic that like, I don't, I don't think the details of it are important, so I'm thinking of how to like, 

[00:07:18] Olivia: I dunno. Zach 

[00:07:19] Victor: mean, I'm super 

[00:07:20] Olivia: I mean, now

you can't throw stuff out there like that. And then,

[00:07:24] Zach: Well, it's my girlfriend. I don't wanna describe her doing stuff. 

[00:07:29] Olivia: One time I had a dream that, no, nevermind, that's my husband.

[00:07:38] Victor: That was no dream.

[00:07:39] Olivia: I titled it Victor's Carnival Penis. And that's all. I'll tell you,

[00:07:43] Victor: you.

[00:07:44] Zach: how old is that dream? I feel like you mentioned that before. Or is this a 

recurring 

[00:07:47] Victor: was a while

[00:07:48] Olivia: that was a while

ago. 

[00:07:49] Zach: Oh, okay. 

I don't remember if she. 

[00:07:52] Victor: story. 

[00:07:53] Olivia: Yeah. It was just like a weird sex dream where that ended with like Victor, on like a merry-go-round and he's at the end. So I'm like, but I'm like facing him and he is like standing on the end

Holding his own penis, like detached, just like up in the air and like waving it around.

[00:08:13] Zach: Okay, but see, that's silly and fanciful. That's not something you guys have actually done or could do.

[00:08:20] Olivia: How do you know

[00:08:22] Zach: You know, detachable 

[00:08:24] Victor: Does ears not come off?

[00:08:25] Zach: hasn't yet. Fucking knock on wood. Um, knock my wood here.

[00:08:30] Victor: Hey,

[00:08:32] Zach: Anyway, so I had a dream the other day and, and this was like, um, a midday nap dream, which naps are really hit or miss for me. Um, I do 'em all the time, but sometimes they're awful. I just wake up like sweaty and like depressed. I have to walk it off.

It's like 20 minute power naps will like re-energize me, but there's no dreams. Like anything over 90 minutes is, is bad. But on the, on this day, I hit the sweet 90 minute mark, uh, and had this dream the overall premise was just that I was going, um, out to see a movie with my girlfriend Shelby, in Hollywood. And uh, yeah, I remember there was a part where we were waiting to cross the street. To go to this theater, but we were very distracted, cuz we were both getting really turned on by each other. And then there was another part that I don't, I don't remember if these two happened in this order, but there's another part where I had to stop and use a public restroom and it reminded me of a restroom at work that locks from the inside.

 or you need a key to get into it. It's not important. It's secure is the point. It felt safe. Uh, we were in there together and she was watching me poop. And uh, but it didn't feel like an invasion of privacy. Like I was comfortable with it, you know, like I, I didn't mind. and also I was succeeding at pooping.

So those are two unique things that we talked about in our first episode. Normally poop dreams are like, you can't find a bathroom. And when you do, it's not private and you can't go. And I defied all of those, all of those laws. Um, but at one point she was like, I'm gonna give you some privacy anyway. And she went into a different stall and then I heard a shower running.

I finished my business, then went into the shower with her, and this is the paral, yada yada over. But, but you know what? It happens.

[00:10:25] Victor: I gotta wash my poop butt.

Get,

[00:10:28] Zach: was, that was the first thing that happened. Yeah. I gotta wash my poop butt so that we can, uh, have fun shower times. it's just a polite thing to do.

[00:10:43] Victor: yeah.

[00:10:44] Zach: Uh, so fun shower times were had and then like the dream skips to like, after the movie. We're trying to find my car. And now Hollywood is like really busy. There's a lot of people walking around. And I remember in the dream, I I, I had a red convertible, but not like a nice one, like an old, it was like an old, like used, like if Hondas made convertibles, it was red.

And so I walked up to a red convertible and I had like an open container of leftover loo, like a red sauce And I set it in the backseat of the convertible, but I fucking, I spilled it all over the backseat. And I noticed the, the upholstery is like way nicer than my car. It's like Italian leather.

And then I look at the, I back up and look at the car as a whole and I'm like, oh shit, this is a Corvette and this is not a Honda. And I, and I started freaking out cause I'm like, some rich guy's gonna be pissed off that I just spilled loo all over the backseat of his sports car. I think you guys are frozen.

Can you hear me? Victor's not there on my screen.

[00:11:49] Olivia: Yeah, he is not there on mine either.

[00:11:52] Zach: Okay.

[00:11:52] Olivia: Oh, there he is. 

[00:11:55] Victor: Talking about my detachable penis again, 

always.

[00:12:00] Zach: Did you have to poop?

[00:12:04] Victor: I had to reset the router

with my poop.

[00:12:08] Zach: That's what I, that's what you call it when you poop. Hold on honey. I gotta go reset the router. 

Um, 

[00:12:16] Olivia: anyway. You were saying Vindaloo Italian leather.

[00:12:20] Zach: yeah. So I ac, I accidentally spilled the voo over the backseat of this Corvette, and then I started to freak out because couldn't just walk away, like, that's not in my character. I now have to wait for this rich guy to yell at me. Um, and I still don't know where my car is.

I didn't drop a pin or anything. I don't know. Like in Google Maps or whatever. I don't know. I have no idea where it is. There's this guy yelling, and I think he's yelling at me and I think he's angry. And I'm like, oh shit. There he is. And then it turns out he's yelling to his friend, like in a, Hey, what's up kind of way.

And I start yelling at him. I'm like, I thought you were yelling at me. You gotta be more clear out here. And, uh, the whole time I'm like, like losing my shit. Uh, Shelby's just like super calm and almost kind of giggling, like at me, you know, making more of the situation than it is. Um, and then at one point she finally gets me to calm down for a second and she goes, babe.

And I'm like, what? And then she pinched me on the thigh and I woke up in real life in my bed. I, I feel like I could not, like a hard pinch, not like, not like a hurt, but I could still feel it. 

[00:13:26] Olivia: Mm. 

[00:13:27] Victor: Hmm. 

[00:13:27] Zach: in in my bed, uh, 

[00:13:29] Victor: Spooky. 

[00:13:30] Zach: to the point where like, I, I thought someone was there touching me, but the look on her face when she did it too, it was so like, 

[00:13:35] Victor: Hmm. 

[00:13:36] Zach: like this isn't real.

It's time for you to wake up now. Like, that was the vibe. 

[00:13:41] Olivia: Pinch 

me. I'm 

dreaming. 

[00:13:43] Zach: know, like literally pinched me cause I was dreaming.

[00:13:46] Olivia: Yeah,

[00:13:47] Zach: Um, 

[00:13:48] Victor: I have a lot of thoughts about all that. Uh, do you have any first impressions about it, Zach?

[00:13:54] Zach: yeah, I mean I think a lot of it just has to like, on its most basic, like on its face to me emotionally has to do with like the positive feelings in my relationship. There's a lot of, horniness was a theme, but also like, uh, comfortability and. Uh, excitement and, um, and, and stability kind of feelings. but the, the weird things about it that made me think it might be it was worth bringing to the podcast is like that complete defiance of every poop dream I've ever had.

[00:14:25] Olivia: Mm-hmm.

[00:14:26] Zach: then the, the weird pinch thing, I don't know if that, like, if there's any meaning there, but it's an interesting phenomenon.

[00:14:32] Victor: Yeah, the, like the, the poop stuff really stuck out to me too because like, uh, So like, if I remember correctly, going way back to the first episode, we put out, like pooping in a dream represents like purging of negativity. And like in you, when we shared dreams, a lot of it was like not being able to, and like not being able to get privacy to do that, which has to do with like social friction, right?

Or like other people kind of being in the way of you doing the thing that you need to do. Right? Um, and so like you being able to like a, like be successful in this actually purge negativity, I think is a positive sign. And then you being like comfortable doing that in front of, uh, Shelby in your dream is like a really strong indicator of your guys', uh, comfort with each other, or like that that, that she feels like a safe person, you know?

Yeah.

[00:15:28] Olivia: Yeah. And I, if I remember correctly, in that first episode, the dream that you did where you were trying, To poop in the liquor store.

[00:15:36] Zach: Yeah, 

[00:15:37] Olivia: we talked, 

[00:15:38] Zach: after giving up on like a more public but grosser bathroom.

[00:15:42] Olivia: right? Yeah. I think something we talked about there was like that you had been single for a long time

and 

[00:15:49] Zach: interesting. That's right.

[00:15:50] Olivia: Yeah. You mentioned that the, like

[00:15:52] Victor: like

[00:15:52] Olivia: your read on the liquor store clerk watching you poop was your idea of like an ideal relationship where it's like someone can just watch you purge your negativity and like, doesn't like judge you and it's not weird

and 

[00:16:07] Zach: Oh 

[00:16:07] Olivia: happened here, huh?

[00:16:09] Zach: Well, good memory and good connection making.

Damn.

[00:16:13] Victor: And then the, uh, the later part of the dream where you're having like an outsized reaction to something and um, she's like there to kind of. Make fun of you a little bit for being outta touch. Um, really remind, reminded me of the sandwich dream. I don't remember if that made it 

[00:16:32] Olivia: That's in the

food

[00:16:33] Zach: Yeah, we haven't aired that episode.

[00:16:35] Victor: Um, should, can we talk about it

or 

should 

we 

not talk 

[00:16:38] Zach: Yeah, I can summarize that real quick. I, I just,

my, the dream that I did in, in that episode, which I'm sure will air at some point when we need con we need an episode and don't have anything there. but I freaked out at a, a clerk at a sandwich shop for like false advertising or something and uh, and my sister was there witnessing it, and she made fun of me and it made me like I couldn't be mad anymore because, because I, 

because that's a real dynamic I have with my sister.

I remember talking about in that, in, in that episode, like we have a history of, of, of whenever, like I lose my cool, she thinks it's really funny and her laugh is really contagious. And so I'm laughing, but still trying to be mad and it just, the whole thing just falls apart into laughter. 

[00:17:23] Olivia: Yeah, that really, um, that dynamic in that dream really is echoed here with the end.

[00:17:29] Victor: and something we've talked about, um, is that you and I both have this anxiety of like, overreacting to stuff and usually in dreams it's that we are, we're doing too much or we're having like too big of a reaction to something.

[00:17:42] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. Cuz we're both in real life. Like really 

[00:17:46] Victor: kinda even tempered. 

[00:17:48] Zach: Really chill. Yeah. Like, yeah. In that episode we talked about, we re rehash the whole thing before we eventually release it. We, I remember we both talked about like, there's only a handful of times where anything close to that has really happened to us. Um, like I think of two people that I, strangers that I ever like, blew up on and it was short and I immediately like, Got embarrassed and stopped and, and carried a lot of shame about it, uh, going forward. But in, in the dream, it's like it in the dreams where I'm getting mad at someone. It like really, uh, plays out to like, like unloading every ounce of anger in my body onto this, this person.

And it's like, even as it continues to go on, it's mortifying, but it's like, like you said, a simulation of like, what would this look like? Our worst fear.

[00:18:35] Victor: Yeah, it's kinda like a hidden ego thing, right? It's like, because in waking life you were so, or like a shadow self thing. It's like in waking life you were so e like. Like calmly tempered and everything, because there's a thing in you that has like this anxiety or that's connected to this anxiety that then manifests in dreams as you being like too big sometimes. 

[00:19:00] Olivia: I'm realizing that I also have that in dreams where like,

I, 

[00:19:06] Zach: The meltdown dream.

[00:19:07] Olivia: yeah, like, or I'll, I'll get like really aggressive and I, like, I will like physically attack people when I'm like angry and

upset 

[00:19:15] Zach: Yeah, me too.

[00:19:16] Olivia: And

it's like, that's not at all how I would behave, you know? And, and in the, in the dreams it's like, um, there's something cathartic about it, but then it, like, it feel, I feel like terrible and like, a bad person, um, for doing that.

[00:19:32] Zach: Yeah. yeah, that's a reoccurring thing with me. And, and I don't think since the food episode, which we didn't air, I don't think I've brought any dreams like that, but I've definitely had a couple since we started the podcast. Um, like I, I, one that sticks out to me that I think about a lot is a stream where, I'm at like a, like a fancy soiree, like next to a pool.

And, and this dude ashes a cigarette. And my mother's, my mom's there and he ashes a cigarette in her wine glass and I demand that he go get her another one. And he refuses. So I like beat him to death, basically. And I remember the dream ends with me, like on top of him and his head's against the concrete next to the pool.

And I'm just like going to pound town. And I, I remember the feeling

[00:20:21] Olivia:

[00:20:21] Victor: it's the wrong way to use Pound Town, but continue

[00:20:25] Zach: with my fists on his face

face. Uh, I was punching him in the face. And I, I remember like even in the dream, connecting it to the feeling of like, um, cheating on someone, which I've 

only, I've only ever done that a handful of times. And it was back in my early twenties. Uh, when I was more of a garbage person and, you know, full of like uncontrollable hormones.

but, but the feeling that it reminded me like the, the reason I connected those two is it was this feeling of like getting this release out and even while doing it, knowing that as soon as the release is finished, I'm gonna feel tremendous regret and consequences for this. Cuz I knew I was gonna kill the guy and like up until the point that he's dead and I have to go to jail is gonna feel really good. Um, but the consequences are severe. and I think cheating is just like the, the worst thing I've ever done. So it's like the only frame of reference I have to like a, a grave mistake like that. 

[00:21:27] Victor: Yeah. I can really only compare it to killing a guy that one time.

[00:21:31] Zach: Yeah, other than that one drifter.

[00:21:33] Victor: Right.

[00:21:35] Zach: Um, but the, but in this dream, I wasn't, this dream wasn't so much an anger, uh, dream. Uh, when, when I messed up the upholstery in this Corvette and then couldn't find the car, it was more like, uh, mounting stress than it was, I wasn't, I wasn't angry so much, it was just like freaking out. But it was sim but a similar arc to it. Like, like amping up, amping up and then like, um, a sudden diffusion in this, in this case, a really pleasant one of being like woke woken up by the ghost of my girlfriend.

[00:22:07] Victor: Yeah, so I think like again, it says like something really positive about how you're, how you feel about Shelby and like how safe you feel in that relationship cuz that that role previously was played by like your sister you have a very good relationship

with, 

[00:22:22] Zach: Mm, yeah. 

[00:22:23] Victor: like that role in your dreams is kind of a.

Kind of a special place. So, um, but, but I think the, that coming up for you probably isn't connected to the relationship that's probably coming up from the same place. Right. The thing in you that's like trying to examine like when you're stressed, how you respond to stress.

[00:22:47] Zach: Yeah. The anxiety behind how I might respond, 

[00:22:50] Victor: Right. 

Um, 

[00:22:52] Zach: internally, I mean, in the dream it's presented as external, but it could be a fear about a fear of, um, you know, internal chaos from, from stress.

[00:23:02] Victor: true. Yeah. Or like, I like a recurring thing that we've talked about on the pod with my dreams recently has been like that. I'll have, I'll have a reaction to something that ends up with causing like a horrible consequence where someone will get hurt or something because I, I, uh, just wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing.

Wasn't like, totally compliant or whatever, you know, like I step outta line and it has like grave consequences, you know? which I think is connect. Like there's a real part of the reason why my temperament is like even keeled is because I have like, I must have some like subconscious anxieties about like, well, no, we've talked about it.

We talked about it. Like, uh, the few times I have blown up or like, like really overreacted to something. Mortify me, haunt me to this day. Follow me around. You remember the time you blew up like a crazy person, you know? And so like, yeah.

[00:24:00] Olivia: Yeah. I feel like you, you have some pretty conscious anxieties about, about that.

[00:24:05] Victor: that.

Yeah. Um,

[00:24:09] Olivia: um, but like overall, I feel like this dream really points to like, feeling like your relationship supports you in a variety of ways. Like whether that's like.

[00:24:21] Victor: like,

[00:24:23] Olivia: You know, like allowing you to have to be vulnerable

or like,

um, have bad moments or purge your negativity or however you wanna phrase that. 

[00:24:33] Victor: But I feel like, um, the, the positive, uh, relationship stuff is maybe not the main point of the dream or the main driving thing in the dream, but it kind of feels like.

How, like I'm always like a support character in Olivia's dreams. You know? It's like I'm, I'm there to, um, help, but there's something else that's being gotten at in the dream and it's just, I, I represent like some added stability or like a feeling of security that she has in waking life that helps her navigate difficult situations or whatever.

[00:25:10] Olivia: Yeah. So if we look at it without like, and just like put Shelby into like that box and just like assume that's what any part about her means. Like what do we feel about the, the rest of it,

[00:25:25] Zach: That's a good question cuz I was, you know, the, the, the part of the dream that I felt like was, was obvious or, or pre solved, bringing it to the podcast was the, the parts about her. But also we've learned that like, you know, cuz a person's in a dream doesn't mean it's about them at all. I had that, um, and our Batman of, uh, yeah, Batman of Snakes episode.

So Dream all about my sister turned out to be about Shelby mostly, or Dream featuring my sister. so I was wondering if it could possibly, possibly be one of those, but then your, your connection with the liquor store clerk, which blew my mind. Kind of reaffirms for me that it's, it's probably definitely about, um, having found that relationship that I was looking for back in episode one.

but yeah, maybe the more, the deeper question or the more interesting question is like, what about that relationship makes it that way? You know what I mean? Or in, in so far as like the other symbols go, or the other actions in the dream go. I basically just rephrased your question while I, while I think about it.

[00:26:24] Victor: Well, it does seem like, um, there was kind of two parts to it, right? There was the first part that was very Shelby focused. Um, and then there was the second part, which was, um, Shelby's there, and she ends up kind of reeling you back into waking, like the waking world at the very end. But that part of the dream is more about like all of these little, like stressors coming up and like lots of little things like bothering you or setting you off.

Are you feeling unsafe? Trying to get from point A to point B, that doesn't feel like, um, necessarily Shelby related, that might have to do with other aspects

of your 

life. 

[00:27:03] Zach: Yeah. Cuz story wise it's all one arc. Like the dream is just about on its face us like a date night. You know, even, even afterward, we're just trying to find the car after the date, but it becomes less about her until she literally reels me back into reality.

[00:27:18] Victor: Right? Right? 

[00:27:20] Zach: Um, 

[00:27:21] Victor: Or like, I mean, I, I pulled up some dream bevel entries. If we, if we feel like digging into it or if you

wanna 

do, 

[00:27:26] Zach: Yeah. No, I, I, I think in, in, um, in the, in the interest of like pursuing the thread that Olivia, um, just brought up and that I think that goes hand in hand with the other, with the symbols. I wanted to explore the non Shelby symbols. Like that's, that's part of the same, uh, thread that you were pulling at, I think.

Um, so yeah, I'm interested to hear what you have pulled up, cuz there are a few that jump out to me.

[00:27:54] Victor: Yeah. Um, yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll list off what I've got and then maybe we'll dig into 'em. Um, and then like, my first thought is like, if there is any connection between like Shelby and these other symbols later in the dream that are anxiety, it's possibly tied to, like stuff we've talked about, about like the logistical stress of like her moving out here and like job stuff and life stuff and all of that, of like making the life together work.

Right? It's possible that that's the connection if all this stress comes up. Tangentially related to Shelby. But um, so I pulled up movie theater cuz that was the destination convertible red, since it seemed like the car was red and the

sauce 

was 

red. 

[00:28:36] Zach: The movie theater was also bright red

[00:28:38] Victor: interesting. And then spill. That's what I've got

[00:28:41] Zach: and the, um, the movie theater, the car and the vindaloo were all red, bright red and, um, the, the color of the sky at the end part of the dream. And the, the walls inside the bathroom were the same shade of like dark blue,

[00:29:00] Victor: blue. Okay.

[00:29:02] Zach: which felt those two colors feel like the color palette of the dream and, and kind of like stick out to me.

[00:29:08] Victor: Okay. Yeah. Well let's start with the colors then. Um, so, uh, red. In dreams represents negativity, negative intentions or negative situations. In a dream, it's reflecting something negative about the way you think, feel, or act. It can point to thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that are unhealthy, unpleasant, or deceitful.

Red can also represent anger, fighting meanness or dishonesty. Often red also reflects feelings about how dangerous a situation where people's behavior is. Dangerous feelings that everything is on the line. The color red is a sign that you're being excessive, immoral, dishonest, or experiencing something unpleasant. Red can also reflect full knowledge that you're doing something that you know is wrong. Symbolism of reds based on human perception of the color of blood. Since blood is something you only see when something really bad or dangerous happens to you positively. The red can represent intense passion, but it's much rarer.

Then there's red and white. Red and orange and that's it. That's all it has to say about red.

[00:30:17] Olivia: That's like, it can be passion, but really no, it can't.

[00:30:21] Victor: Yeah.

[00:30:22] Olivia: What's dark blue,

[00:30:23] Victor: So blue represents positivity. It can point to thoughts. Emotions are behaviors that are healthy, helpful, genuine and honest. And then there's light blue, which is very positive.

Situations. The color, dark blue represents insensitivity, thoughts, comments, or situations that are cold and uncaring. Something positive that lacks concern for other people's feelings. This color is often associated with situations where you or someone else is being cold, blunt or harsh. Darker shades of blue but not fully dark

blue 

[00:30:59] Zach: That's more accurate. 

[00:31:00] Victor: may reflect honesty that is good for you, but feels mean feeling that people are not considering your feelings.

Uh, does that click for you? 

[00:31:09] Zach: Yeah. 

[00:31:10] Victor: wanna talk about 

it? 

[00:31:11] Zach: Yeah. Well, I was thinking about how interesting that is, that the, the ambiance of the dream was all. Um, blue, like the, the sky and the walls. Um, and like I said before, you got to what it meant. Um, it wasn't, I guess it wasn't like dark, dark blue, like whatever that shit was, the part that resonated was dark, but not super dark. That felt more, I don't know if cerulean is the right word, like, uh, royal blue. I don't know what to call it. Um, but, uh, would you say honesty, that feels mean?

[00:31:43] Victor: Yeah. Honesty that is good for you, but feels

mean. 

[00:31:47] Zach: Yeah. So I found it interesting that like all the, like ambiance and the set pieces were this positive thing and the little instances, the, the, the props within were red.

[00:31:59] Olivia: I don't know that. What is that? Do you resonate with the positive part of blue? Because I, it seems like the darker shade of blue is not really connected to positivity

as, as, 

much as blue in

general. 

[00:32:11] Zach: no, not the darker one, but the, the middle shade.

[00:32:14] Olivia: Right. It's, but it's like talking about like, like for me that brought up like

[00:32:20] Victor: that I

[00:32:21] Olivia: that I maybe don't wanna like think about or like that, like the hard truth, like hard truth, you

know? 

[00:32:27] Victor: yeah. 

Let me finish this paragraph. Um, darker shades of blue, but not fully dark blue may reflect honesty that is good for you, but feels mean feeling that people are not considering your feelings, authority, or parents who embarrass you with their strict safety policies that feel

unfair, 

[00:32:45] Zach: Oh, no. Yeah.

[00:32:45] Victor: honest jerks being mean to people because it's in their best interest.

Unnecessary, brutal honesty. Intentionally not listening to anything that isn't honest before all else being mean to people who aren't listening to your feelings. And then the last bit here is the color. Dark blue may also reflect brutal honesty that doesn't feel good, or a very difficult situation that is in your best interest.

[00:33:08] Zach: Okay. Yeah. The rest of that lost me. 

[00:33:11] Victor: gotcha. 

[00:33:11] Zach: I see, I see what you're saying now.

[00:33:13] Olivia: So what about the,

The like honesty that is good for you, but feels mean resonated for

you? 

[00:33:20] Zach: yeah, I guess mean isn't the right word, but, um, what I was tying the red stuff to, or the, the parts that jumped out at me had to do with like honesty. Um, and lemme think about it, talk about this. What, what it brought for me is a topic that we haven't come back to in, in, in a while with, with me since I had that episode. Um, or had that dream. And, uh, I don't remember the name of the episode, but, uh, it was a dream about my relationship with alcohol. And there, uh, there have been a few things in my relationship with Shelby that have shown a little bit of a light on that and in a different way than I have in the past. I've, in the past, I've had a history of dealing with or dealing with dating people who were dealing with their own dysfunctional relationships with alcohol.

Shelby has a very normal relationship with alcohol, or maybe not, not normal as uncommon, but normal as in healthy. Um, is like very honest and very, like a really good mirror for me that's being held up. like, I don't know, I caught myself a few times, like, uh, not being fully honest with her about like the amount I had had that night, for example. Little stuff like that, that like in the past felt normal because like everyone around me was doing it. 

[00:34:38] Victor: Right. 

[00:34:39] Zach: But then when you're dating somebody with a functional relationship with alcohol, then it's like actually that's the a that's the behavior of an addict.

You're like, well, shit, I don't want to be an addict. Let me adjust then make sure I'm not an addict. Cause if I can't adjust, then. If I can't undo that behavior and, and, and be different, then I might have a problem here. And, and, and so far, like every time we've encountered one of those, I have adjusted and, and like unraveled and undid some bad habits or some bad patterns, which has been a little uncomfortable to realize that like for the past however many years, decade or whatever, I've had a different relationship with the word a few beers than, than, uh, other people.

 And that didn't feel like lying to me for many years because I was like lying to myself that when it's beers a few means seven, you know, um, or whatever. Um, so it, it's been like a uncomfortable recalibration process, but like Is healthy,

[00:35:35] Olivia: That all seems to tie right into the darker shade of blue

entry, 

[00:35:40] Zach: at least the first line of it,

[00:35:41] Olivia: right? 

Or like, yeah, just

that, 

you 

[00:35:44] Zach: because No, because no one's being mean 

to me. She's being super sweet and like

[00:35:48] Olivia: No, totally. But like, it's talking about like, um, things that are like difficult or maybe doesn't feel good, but is in your best interest.

And it's like, it's not that it doesn't feel good, like it sounds like it does feel good to like have this honesty and like, you know, recalibrate, but like the part of it being like having to, you know, look at something that maybe you don't feel good about, um, or like, that you haven't, that you've historically had like a complicated relationship with and reevaluating, like all of that does seem to really tie into that.

Um,

[00:36:22] Victor: Yeah. That's, that's not the kind of thing where when it gets called out and you haven't thought about it, or haven't thought about it like that before, it's not the kind of thing where you're like, oh, oh, that's neat.

Oh, I'm gonna totally change. Oh, hey, that's great. Thank you for saying that to me. Oh, well, I'm gonna be completely different from the No, it 

like, it's gonna fuck 

[00:36:40] Zach: is like, I'm not an addict. I'm fine. 

I'm 

[00:36:43] Victor: you for a while as you process it,

[00:36:46] Zach: Yeah. But obviously, like whatever episode that was, I was already thinking about this stuff, so I, I was, I was ready to have these conversations. I just hadn't had them yet with a person like her. 

[00:37:00] Victor: Yeah. 

[00:37:01] Zach: so I, I wasn't, I didn't go into them like fully resistant, like, uh, like a person can when that happens.

Um, but that does feel like what the end of that dream is, is like me freaking out, about stuff that seems big and her standing there being like, no, it's okay. Just be honest with me about like, like, everything's gonna be fine. Just, you know, don't, don't lie. Don't drive drunk. Just like reel it in and if you can't, we'll work on it together.

Like it is, it's not, um, the end of the world. It's, it's, it's, I don't know.

[00:37:33] Olivia: Yeah. Something that can be 

like 

refreshing and also catch you off guard when you're in like a. New, like a new dynamic that is healthy , and having a history of, dating people where you're not being forthcoming, like all the time.

Like, you know, where people are saying things when they mean something else, or like when somebody is gonna be mad at you about something and so you avoid like talking about it. Um, it can be like, uh, a really foreign experience to have someone be like, no, it's okay. Like,

[00:38:05] Victor: Like,

[00:38:06] Olivia: we're good. Let's just talk about it.

Um, it's, and it's like kind of an adjustment, um, to like realize that you don't have to Operate a certain way or like think about how you're operating to like tiptoe around somebody or like, not cause a problem. You know what I mean? And it, it sounds like that's maybe something you're experiencing in this relationship where it's like from past experiences.

[00:38:33] Zach: Yeah, cuz the, the last person was, uh, like a real alcoholic, you know, like, um, I for sure have like a bad habit around it. don't wanna sound like I'm like talking like an addict or like backpedaling outta stuff, but, um, but because I'm able to make adjustments and stick to them I tend to think I'm in the clear, the way I actually described it to Shelby, uh, is I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but if you ask all of, any of my friends, take any of my friends and, and get them privately away from me and ask them if Zach's an alcoholic, their response would be, no. It would be no, but in that tone, you know what I mean?

[00:39:19] Victor: Okay.

[00:39:20] Zach: Like, no, he's not an alcoholic. Like that's how they would say it. 

Um, 

[00:39:28] Olivia: worst place to be.

[00:39:30] Zach: yeah. It's better than a, 

[00:39:32] Olivia: Yeah. 

[00:39:33] Zach: a thoughtless Yes. Just, yep. Yep. Totally.

[00:39:36] Victor: I've never seen him carry around a big jug with three X's on it.

[00:39:41] Zach: Yeah. Uh, I've never seen, never seen his penis at a wedding, so. Um, but yeah, I mean, I kind of like, I don't know, I don't wanna go off on like a whole tangent about like, about drinking, but, um, I lump it in with like a lot of like other dopamine things. I, I, uh, I have a similar relationship with food and with nicotine, uh, with, with a lot of things that, that, I'm, I just like in kind of a dopamine fiend, uh, and, and, and have a hard time with, uh, moderation in general.

but yeah, sorry, I'm trying to get back to the dream. oh, this, this ties into the, uh, the, the liquor store clerk again. So I told you when we did get to the alcohol dream, a buddy of mine me saying that he thought that's what was gonna come up in the first episode

[00:40:31] Olivia: yeah, 

[00:40:32] Zach: with the liquor store clerk. I'm not sure how that ties anything together, but I feel like it does.

[00:40:37] Victor: yeah. No, it does cuz there is a connection probably between, um, like this, this relationship you're describing that you have with like, uh, dopamine stuff and addiction and things like that. And like

[00:40:51] Olivia: like,

[00:40:51] Victor: your difficulty with like, purging negativity. Yeah. Or finding like safety in other people and everything that stuff's all connected.

[00:41:00] Olivia: and like if the,

[00:41:01] Victor: the,

[00:41:02] Olivia: like say the purging of the negativity in this situation represents, a little more honesty between you and your relationship with alcohol. Right? Or like, so like in the past, in the last dream, you, you weren't able to do that. Or like, or, or you landed on that second scene with the liquor store clerk being like an ideal situation.

but like, it feels like this situation is like, or, or in this dream, it feels like it's actually happening with somebody there who represents like a real life figure that has been healthy and conducive to you being able to do that. So it's like the first one was like the ideal or like maybe a projection of like a future desire.

[00:41:50] Zach: Yeah, it could have even been alcohol itself. It could have been, it could been like, well, booze isn't gonna judge me.

[00:41:55] Victor: Hmm.

[00:41:56] Olivia: Yeah. 

[00:41:57] Zach: Um, when I work out my problems with it. Um, I remembered where I was going now when I trailed off a minute ago, I got lost in the sauce. 

[00:42:06] Victor: mm-hmm.

[00:42:09] Zach: but, uh, I was saying that my last relationship was with, uh, a real alcoholic. That's, that's how I got sidetracked there. I, I was, I, I got focused on me. I was like, I'm this, I'm a dopamine monster. What? Whatever. What, what I was, I was trying to wind my way back to like, but her, she, she was, like admittedly, like she has step one of the program done.

You know, she has step one, admitting it done. Like she is out loud, I'm an alcoholic, but between step one and two, she decided to just be a functional alcoholic. Like that's, that's like her goal is to get through life without killing herself because she can't do that without alcohol. That's, that's how she puts it.

Um, and it was, it was super scary. I dated this person for three years and like I had to, um, like stand in the doorway so she couldn't like leave to, uh, drive drunk in like a, a blackout state at like two in the morning. I mean, she did. She had a d u i, she went to jail. She like wrapped her Prius around a pole.

It was scary. so that really, for three years there, like my relationship with it was not being examined cuz I, I was fully paying attention to hers, you know, and by contrast felt like I was normal and healthy.

[00:43:26] Olivia: Right.

[00:43:27] Zach: Um, and before that, that person was, um, I don't know if she was an alcoholic, but she was a punk rocker, heavy drinker partier.

And we were young. I, I think she's probably mellowed out by now. so yeah, it's, it's been a thing that, like I've examined privately for a long time. and this dream seems to be about me examining it with a loving and supportive partner.

[00:43:51] Olivia: Yeah,

[00:43:52] Victor: Yeah, 

[00:43:52] Zach: I feel like that's, The summation that I'm trying to get to.

[00:43:56] Olivia: I like that we got there with just red and blue.

[00:44:00] Victor: Yeah, I mean, 

[00:44:01] Zach: Yeah, I'm curious. 

[00:44:01] Victor: more stuff here.

Yeah, 

[00:44:03] Zach: Yeah, I feel like it's, it, it's probably not all about alcohol, but that's, that's one hefty example cuz that, that has come up like a, a few times with Shelby where there had, there had to be an adjustment made because I was exhibiting behavior that was, um, or, or, or, or components of my relationship with alcohol that were clearly not healthy. And then I addressed them and I've changed them. 

yeah.

[00:44:30] Victor: Um, I think something we've said a couple of times, um, and it like talking about your dreams and your, like, just stuff since you started seeing, uh, Shelby, um, is like, You guys both came into a relationship as like adults with damage and baggage and all that other stuff, and you were growing together and like making each other better.

And like, that sounds so like corny and cheesy and happy, and like painless, right? But like, the reality of that is like, you have baggage, you have scars, you have stuff you're carrying around and it's really hard to work through. And like, this feels like, like the part of yourself that is like struggling with those changes and is like struggling with like the demands of trying to be a better version of yourself, you know?

And like, it's hard and it's work and there's like, you're gonna hit stumbling blocks and you're gonna like backstep and then, you know, like it's not easy, you know, but you're doing it and you've got clearly like somebody that, uh, Is an important and strong support system for you, and that's represented in your dream.

[00:45:50] Zach: Yeah. Um, I'm curious what movie theater means.

[00:45:54] Victor: All right? Movie theater, to dream that you're in a movie theater represents an experience in life that is so interesting or important to you, that you go out of your way to have it a significant event or a situation that you may invest a lot of time or money in. You're making an effort to indulge yourself in something right off the bat.

That sounds like the, the goal to be living with Shelby, like this life you guys are working towards to me anyway.

[00:46:22] Zach: Yeah, but, well, the interesting part about that is in the dream we were sort of like, like that was the plan to go to the movie theater, but neither of us wanted to.

[00:46:32] Victor: Really

[00:46:33] Zach: Yeah, I think I glossed over that. We were standing across the street at the beginning of the dream trying to go to the movie theater, but we were like getting turned on and we're like, maybe we should just go home and like, Where we can be alone.

And, and that's a reflection of what it's really like when she's here, when she's comes to visit me in LA we sometimes we'll make plans to like go to museums or shows or whatever, but like when you, when you're long distance and you get a chance to hang out, you can just want to hang out,

[00:47:01] Victor: yeah,

[00:47:02] Zach: um, and not stare at a screen for two hours.

Um, so it had that vibe and the dream and we never, well I guess at the end of the dream it had the vibe of we were leaving the theater, but I never saw the inside of it. Like the dream. It skipped over it.

[00:47:18] Olivia: But it was red. You said 

[00:47:20] Zach: Yeah. 

[00:47:20] Olivia: outside

of 

it. 

[00:47:22] Zach: Yeah. And so because it was red and because I have a habit of just like glomming on to one interpretation when we do this, I, I was thinking of the movie theater as alcohol again cuz uh, is something like, um, And was spending a lot of money, but it did make it sound like a goal that you want to get to.

[00:47:40] Victor: Yeah, let me read the second paragraph. Um, situations that may encourage a dream of a movie theater, may be plans to fly to another country. Buying something you know is too expensive or being motivated to try something new. All situations where you are very focused on ensuring that something you want to experience happens at all costs.

[00:47:58] Olivia: That really does sound like it's about Shelby

moving, 

[00:48:02] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. That, During the first paragraph, I could still kind of tie it into alcohol, but I think I was stretching or 

[00:48:09] Victor: Although, I mean, I think that still makes sense of you guys. Um, like what you want is to be together. All of this stuff of like orchestrating her move and like figuring out the details and logistics of coexisting in Los Angeles is all just kind of bullshit tacked on top of you guys spending more time together, which is what you really want.

[00:48:29] Zach: Yeah. I guess that could be the, I'm trying to tie it into the red symbol, symbolism, since the theater was red. 

[00:48:35] Victor: Mm. 

[00:48:35] Zach: But that, I mean, yeah, that could be the, um, that other bullshit you're talking about the, like what's inside the theater is the goal and the facade is all the, uh, 

obstacles. 

[00:48:48] Victor: Yeah, and like if you're still experiencing some stress about like how you're gonna pull it all off and stuff like that, to me makes sense with the red. Like if you're just stressed about like work and finances and logistics and stuff like that, to me makes sense of like, there's all the, all these obstacles coming between you and the movie theater.

The movie theater itself looks scary cuz once it's happening, it's happening, you know, like that. All that stuff, you know? But now I'm forcing my interpretation onto the dream, so,

[00:49:21] Zach: Yeah, but that gels with all the other red stuff after it. Cuz that what, that was very much like financial bullshit and like pragmatics, you know, like finding where the car is parked, messing up, uh 

[00:49:34] Victor: nice car you have to pay for this upholstery or whatever now. 

Yeah. 

Um, let's see. Convertible to dream of a convertible car represents feelings of enjoying having nothing to stop you with your decisions or choices. Loving being in control of your life at all times. Enjoying being in control of the direction a situation is taking.

Feeling good about nobody ever saying no to you. Feeling good about your life, always doing what you want. Feeling good being boss or a 

leader. 

[00:50:02] Zach: That sounds like if you're driving the convertible,

[00:50:05] Olivia: Sometimes the Dream Bible entries, like it sounds like they were all written by the same guy cuz they were all like phrased the same, but like sometimes he's really drunk.

[00:50:18] Zach: I mean, he had a lot to do. He had, uh,

[00:50:21] Victor: Yeah. It reads like a guy that was like trying to get it all done in a weekend and he is like putting in like 20 hour days, like typing up these dream Bible entries.

[00:50:32] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. A few of them were copy and pasted and then keywords were changed.

[00:50:37] Victor: It says, um, dreaming of a convertible car may also represent enjoyment of your lifestyle choices. There's a negatively section, and then it says, uh, a red or black convertible is symbolic of negative or excessive enjoyment of your life. Your choices or goals may be easily realized, but your intentions may not be genuine or balanced.

Abusing freedom or control.

[00:50:57] Zach: I mean that, yeah, that could be into like, um, we're, we're, we're both very worried about our budgets right now, like we're trying to rebudget, like that was something we did last time she was here. We each looked at our. We, we shared our respective spreadsheets with each other and we're like, how much can we put away every paycheck to save up for the deposit on an apartment? Um, so, so I have been thinking a lot about like every little purchase and being like, do I need this? Um,

[00:51:27] Victor: sounds stressful.

[00:51:27] Zach: yeah. So that, that plays right into that 

[00:51:30] Victor: Um, 

[00:51:31] Zach: to the idea of a red convertible, um, And it makes sense that it would be after the movie theater actually, because bef the everything before the movie theater was about like, um, we're turned on and we're comfortable in front of each other. And like all this like, good safe stuff, like safe and healthy and, and full of trust and honesty.

And then after the movie theater, if that, if that represents us moving in together, then I'm projecting all the stress of what that will actually look. That's when all the stressful things on the dream happened. 

[00:52:05] Victor: That makes 

sense. 

[00:52:06] Zach: the future being full of stress, uh, to me. But, but then it ended with, with, with Shelby being like, it's fine.

It'll all be fine. It's, you're, you're fucking dreaming.

[00:52:17] Victor: it makes sense to have that fear, right? Like whether you think that's gonna happen or not. Something in you has that anxiety that that's how it'll play out, right? And so this dream is tapping into that.

[00:52:28] Zach: Yeah. But, uh, but at a baseline trust that it'll be okay because it's with this person who, who, is giving me this like safe environment to explore all these other like, difficult things.

[00:52:42] Victor: So the last entry I'll read is spill, which I like. I'm scanning the first paragraph and it seems like it connects, um, to dream of spilling. Something represents feelings about losing control over something you first felt was contained, embarrassment or losing control of something in your life.

Carelessness, or an embarrassing display of, of lacking responsibility in considerate attempts to control people who end up embarrassing you. Feelings about wasted opportunities. So like, you know, it's like, oh, is something gonna go wrong? Like, or I, I made a wrong decision, or I mishandled something and so it all blows

up 

or 

[00:53:21] Zach: yeah, it seemed pretty clearly like the fear of fucking up,

[00:53:24] Victor: Yeah, yeah.

Um, 

[00:53:27] Zach: plays both into the, the financial, pragmatic worries of, of trying to get us to live together. And all the stuff we were talking about before with like reexamining bad habits, there's, there's a fear of fucking up in both.

[00:53:40] Olivia: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[00:53:41] Victor: Yeah. like your whole experience is colored by what you were talking about, about, um, having like maybe some addictive, uh, habits. Right. Um, that, like, that colors the whole experience cuz you're trying to grapple with that at the same time that you're trying to deal with the practical considerations.

Right.

[00:54:01] Zach: You mean I shouldn't be wasting my money on beer? Is that

[00:54:04] Victor: No, I just mean like, you're, you're fighting a battle on multiple fronts, right? It's like on one side you're trying to like, um, change like life habits. And on the other, on the other side, it's like, okay, I can't buy, um, you know, a popsicle today because I'm trying to save every

penny for 

a down 

[00:54:23] Zach: All the, all the dopamine

stuff 

[00:54:25] Victor: right, right. So it's like two, two stresses happening

at the 

same 

time. 

[00:54:30] Zach: Because that's, uh, yeah. In addition to my beer habit, like I have a, like crazy sunflower seed habit cuz I have an oral fixation. I have uh, the vapes, like, I have all these little things that I look at the budget and, and I'm like, I should cut these out cuz they're not survival foods. They're just, they're just me intaking dopamine all day. Well, the vape is all day.

[00:54:54] Olivia: Can we go get sunflower seeds after this?

[00:54:57] Victor: Might still have some.

[00:54:59] Olivia: No, I want the pickle ones.

[00:55:01] Victor: Oh God,

[00:55:02] Zach: dude, those are the ones I have right now.

[00:55:04] Olivia: Fuck. There's, those are

so 

good. 

[00:55:06] Zach: They're the best one. And I'm glad you like the, uh, ke kettle chips and cottage 

[00:55:11] Olivia: Oh my God. Changed my

life. 

[00:55:13] Zach: That is a game changing snack. 

[00:55:15] Olivia: not, not to derail, but yeah, that this, um,

[00:55:19] Victor: this

[00:55:20] Olivia: this does feel like one of those dreams that's kind of like a snapshot of where you're at right now, you 

know? 

[00:55:26] Zach: Mm-hmm. 

[00:55:27] Olivia: Um,

[00:55:28] Victor: Yeah, kinda like your, your, um, pregnancy dream, right? It just kinda took you through the whole journey of your experience of a thing. Yeah.

[00:55:37] Olivia: wobbly room. Yeah.

[00:55:38] Victor: right?

[00:55:38] Zach: Well, I'm glad I did this one. It got deeper than I, I mean, it's still what I thought it was about, which is, uh, positive feelings about my relationship with Shelby, but there's a lot going on within that, and I feel like it all tied together pretty nicely.

[00:55:53] Victor: Yeah.

[00:55:53] Zach: Good job gang.

[00:55:54] Victor: I, I do think overall it's a positive dream. Like you, you're, you letting yourself process some fears and anxieties and stresses that you have, but like, like the love you have for Shelby clearly shines through in the dream. That's like core within you.

[00:56:16] Zach: Yeah. And confidence. I think confidence is the, like, uh, if I were gonna take away one word from this dream, especially given the ending.

[00:56:25] Victor: Yeah, in the end it was all fine. Like all the stress

was nothing. 

[00:56:31] Zach: Yeah. 

[00:57:03] Zach: The hallucination part with the, the physical, still feeling the physical touch after. I don't know what that was, but it was cool. It, it was like the most pleasant, miniature version of, uh, sleep paralysis that I've ever had.

[00:57:17] Olivia: I was gonna say that. That's like I have bat experience a lot. Um, in sleep paralysis. Yeah. Like the other day I had sleep paralysis and like in my hallucination it was, this is weird, but the cat was actually sleeping on my chest when I was having sleep

paralysis. 

[00:57:37] Zach: in real life. 

[00:57:38] Victor: Yes. And 

[00:57:39] Olivia: for some, like, part of my hallucination was that his tooth was like pushing against my tooth and there was like immense pressure on my tooth from this cat's tooth.

Um, it's probably cuz he sleeps on my face. But that wasn't actually happening.

Right. But then when I woke up, like my tooth hurt for like

[00:57:57] Victor: like

[00:57:58] Olivia: a few minutes

afterwards, like it felt like there was a ton of pressure on my tooth.

[00:58:02] Victor: Yeah. I I woke you up because like when she's in sleep paralysis, she's dead quiet.

But then every now and then she can like let a, a cry for help escape. And so I was just like working and then I hear like, oh,

[00:58:20] Olivia: In my world. I was screaming

help for like

an hour,

[00:58:24] Victor: And so I went downstairs and I shook her awake and she woke up and then she was immediately like and touching her teeth and was like, are my teeth okay?

[00:58:33] Zach: Oh god. That was a first for me was like a physical, like a, a touch sense halluc hallucination. Cuz I, I've had a few of the like visual sleep paralysis and I've had a lot of the auditory ones, but I've never had a, a physical sense.

[00:58:51] Olivia: Yeah. It sounds like you woke up a little bit before your hallucination, your drape wore

off. 

[00:58:58] Zach: Right. Isn't that what sleep paralysis 

[00:58:59] Olivia: Yeah. I think that's what happened. That's what I think. That's what you were

experiencing 

[00:59:04] Zach: Yeah. It was just mild cuz I, 

cuz it was such a gentle pinch. Like normally when you, when you wake up too suddenly it's because something like scary or bad happened. And so your hallucinations, whatever sense they may be, um, is terrifying

[00:59:20] Olivia: Right.

[00:59:21] Zach: or weird like a cat trying to make out with you

[00:59:25] Victor: That's just

[00:59:25] Olivia: my real life

[00:59:27] Victor: Yeah. 

[00:59:28] Zach: cat's making out with you and detachable penises, that's just.

[00:59:32] Olivia: said I, I don't remember if I told this on the, I think I did on the pod, but like at our old job one of my clients was like, oh, I do animal communication. And, like, she was like, the cat has a message for you. Indy wants you to know that he loves when you kiss him on the mouth.

[00:59:50] Zach: You did talk about that on the pod,

[00:59:53] Victor: I'm like,

[00:59:53] Olivia: oh God,

[00:59:55] Zach: and you're like, uh, I don't do that

[00:59:59] Victor: do you guys know there's a species of octopus that has a detachable 

[01:00:03] Olivia: yeah, they shoot it. And,

uh, 

predators. Yeah, 

[01:00:06] Victor: a

distraction. 

[01:00:07] Zach: at predators, not at mates.

[01:00:09] Victor: I mean, I don't know if they share it mates, but like, if they think they're gonna die, they'll, they'll detach their penis and throw it

as 

like a 

[01:00:17] Zach: Go on without me Propagate the species.

[01:00:21] Victor: No, it's the opposite. It's like, eat my dick and leave me alone.

[01:00:26] Zach: Eat my dick and leave me alone. There's the episode 

[01:00:29] Olivia: I was gonna say.

[01:00:36] Victor: I always feel like I laugh for too long, like something funny will happen and everyone chuckles and then I am just like wheezing for like a full minute. I just can't shut it off for some 

[01:00:46] Zach: really. 

[01:00:47] Victor: Yeah. I have a hard 

[01:00:48] Zach: like, I feel like all three of us stifle our laugh too much.

[01:00:51] Olivia: really, I feel like I laughed too

much. 

[01:00:54] Zach: No, no. Laughs are good for, for podcasting, in my opinion.

[01:00:58] Victor: All right, we'll chuckle.

We'll 

do more 

[01:01:00] Zach: It's why they put laugh tracks into old sitcoms. So

[01:01:03] Olivia: not to hold

back 

then 

[01:01:05] Zach: cuz it's contagious, it makes the listener laugh more.

[01:01:08] Olivia: I think I laugh at my own jokes too much.

[01:01:11] Victor: I definitely laugh 

at my 

own jokes. 

[01:01:12] Zach: I think that's okay too. I mean, maybe, maybe it would help if I laughed at my own jokes. Sometimes I feel like it's not clear when I'm being funny cuz I just, I just say something and now I don't even go like, eh,

[01:01:27] Olivia: No, a lot 

of the time you'll say something and then Victor and I will be like,

[01:01:32] Victor: and

[01:01:32] Olivia: and it'll like turn into this huge laugh where we're laughing like idiots at something. You said really nonchalantly.

[01:01:39] Victor: There was a moment earlier though, where Zach said something funny and me and you were both like smiling really wide and making no noise, and I had the thought of like, oh, this isn't gonna translate to podcasts at all.

Marker

[01:01:50] Olivia: Oh, I 

[01:01:53] Victor: Zach, you said you had a second dream, right? That was like short and confusing 

so we 

[01:01:57] Zach: Yeah. . 

But it's, it's really short to tell. Um, it's, I had a, a dream the other night where, uh, I was at the doctor's office. And, um, I think I was having it because I, uh, I haven't had health insurance for some time and I, I have health insurance now, so I've been thinking about going to the doctor.

I need to, I need to schedule a checkup, and that's what I was there for in the dream. I was there for like a physical, but the doctor was like rushing through it, like doing a real haphazard half-assed job. Um, because his next client was a sumo wrestler and he was super stoked to like, he was like, I've never, I've never examined a sumo wrestler.

They're like a specimen. And, And, and, he was like, and he was barely, like, paying attention to me. The, the only detail I remember, I feel like there were a lot like this in the dream, but the only one I remember is he wrote down my, uh, blood pressure on like a cocktail napkin and it, and it was one 20 over 300. 

[01:02:58] Olivia: And

was he like,

you're good? 

[01:03:00] Zach: Yeah. Yeah. And I remember, I remember looking at that and I was like, you know, cause I couldn't quite remember reality cause I'm in a dream and I was like, I feel like one twentys good, three hundreds. Three hundreds really bad. Right? And he was, and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said something like, eat your vegetables or something. 

[01:03:21] Olivia: Yeah, 

yeah,

[01:03:22] Zach: He is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just eat, eat your vegetables. You, you'll be fine. I, I gotta go look at this huge guy now.

[01:03:29] Olivia: That was the whole dream. 

[01:03:31] Zach: Yeah. 

[01:03:31] Olivia: I love that.

[01:03:32] Victor: Yeah, that's good. That's like

[01:03:34] Olivia: like every doctor's appointment I've ever had, except the summa wrestler is that they wanna go

[01:03:41] Victor: have lunch.

[01:03:42] Olivia: Yeah, exactly. It's always lunch. They're always having lunch after. 

[01:03:45] Zach: I've heard that. That's what it's like to be a woman

[01:03:47] Olivia: Yeah, it

is. 

It's 

[01:03:49] Zach: they're like, 

[01:03:49] Olivia: They

don't 

wanna help 

you. 

[01:03:51] Zach: they're like, what's going on? You're on your period. Okay. Bye.

[01:03:53] Olivia: Yeah, 

[01:03:56] Victor: yeah. 

[01:03:57] Olivia: Even when you're not, they're like, that's probably because you have a period. Sometimes,

[01:04:02] Zach: Oh, it's your, uh, hysteria

[01:04:05] Olivia: unfortunately, pain is just really common, so that's, I get that a lot. Unfortunately, pain is very

common. 

[01:04:13] Zach: with women.

[01:04:14] Olivia: Yeah,

Yeah. Yes.

[01:04:16] Zach: If you're a man, it would be weird cause we're super tough.

[01:04:18] Victor: Yeah.

[01:04:18] Olivia: Yeah.

[01:04:20] Victor: Yeah.

[01:04:21] Olivia: Yeah. 

[01:04:24] Zach: Now we have lower, um, pain tolerances because we don't have as much inherent pain. Right.

[01:04:29] Olivia: Can you imagine if you had to push a baby out of a penis?

[01:04:33] Zach: I would never have sex again.

[01:04:35] Olivia: That's what I'm saying. There'd be like two people in the world.

[01:04:38] Victor: Mm-hmm.

[01:04:38] Olivia: there is a sumo wrestler during Bible entry.

[01:04:42] Victor: and.

[01:04:43] Olivia: I wanna know what that is.

[01:04:44] Victor: Yeah. Uh, all right. To dream of a sumo wrestler represents a willingness to use, leverage or power to get your way, unwilling to change your stance or choices, throwing your weight around to get your way or letting others know that you're in charge,

[01:05:01] Zach: It's one of the more well, well-written 

[01:05:03] Olivia: Throwing your 

weight 

around to 

[01:05:05] Zach: It was succinct and fit. The symbol,

[01:05:08] Olivia: Yeah.

[01:05:09] Victor: Someone was, uh, not drinking that morning.

[01:05:11] Olivia: Our guy, Mr.

Dream. Bible. 

[01:05:14] Victor: The one guy that's, that wrote all of these on a weekend. I

[01:05:17] Olivia: talk to him. Can we get him on here?

[01:05:20] Victor: I wish. Yeah. It's a Canadian, no, I don't know. I wanna, I wanna spin off That's just investigating the Dream Bible.

[01:05:28] Olivia: yeah. Like an NPR

style 

[01:05:30] Zach: I mean, that, that does seem like a, a sub, a subplot of, of our podcast.

[01:05:36] Victor: Yeah.

[01:05:36] Olivia: We should start doing that as like, that can be our, our check-in is

Update on the dream

Bible. 

[01:05:45] Zach: Or an entire separate mini, so with different album art and stuff, but it's still under the banner of ung and the Restless.

[01:05:51] Olivia: I kind of love

[01:05:51] Victor: getting ads for intermittent fasting for seniors. So Google knows my fitness level.

[01:05:58] Olivia: I also saw you were getting an ad for, for vrbo, which is wild cuz I was looking at VRBO earlier, but not on

your 

computer,

[01:06:08] Zach: But can you run it?

[01:06:11] Olivia: But

can you run it?

[01:06:12] Zach: 

So, yeah, I don't know what the Summa wrestler would be in my life. I do feel like going to the doctor, I feel like that's what, there has to be anxiety about scheduling my first physical in a while.

[01:06:22] Victor: It says, to dream of a doctor represents an aspect of your personality that heals or purifies of something negative in your life. Whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, a doctor in a dream means there is something wrong that is being fixed or that you need to care more about correcting.

[01:06:38] Zach: Uh, yeah, sounds like 

my, my health,

[01:06:43] Victor: any kinda healing. Yeah, but your healing is being neglected in favor of some big Dick Sumo wrestler.

[01:06:52] Zach: I mean, I feel like the dick probably looks pretty small on him.

[01:06:55] Victor: especially 

[01:06:56] Olivia: when they, uh, detach it and throw it. 

[01:06:59] Zach: I feel like this is similar to the first dream,

[01:07:02] Olivia: Yeah. 

[01:07:04] Victor:

[01:07:04] Zach: the, the, the healing thing.

And I'm not sure exactly how to tie it in, but like intuitively it feels like it's on that thread.

[01:07:14] Victor: well, I mean, that's interesting. I mean, I. So, so not to get serious with it, but like this is a part of you, you're sending a message to yourself. So like on some level, some part of you feels that, um, like the doctor is a part of you that's neglecting your need to heal in favor of some shiny object, right? 

[01:07:36] Zach: Yeah. 

[01:07:37] Victor: Uh, so like that's on some level, like an awareness that, um, you are not tuned into your own needs, right?

Or 

[01:07:48] Zach: Yeah. And it seems like, like I had this crazy high blood pressure in the dream, but he, he seemed more interested in, this like spectacle of a human that is, you know, Not health, also not healthy. Like I know I, not to like shit on an ancient Japanese tradition, but

 That, that is a crazy way to live. And, and, and I can't imagine sumal wrestlers live a long life. but also that's not what it's about according to the Dream Bible. it, it, it does make sense. That's something that's about throwing your weight around and, and, and being like an intimidating presence.

Presence would demand attention. so it's, I'm trying to connect this to like a, a, a part of me that is like in charge of like looking over my health. Overlooking something very real and pragmatic. Like, like, like blood pressure in favor of like something that's more interesting

[01:08:43] Victor: feel like you could do the gestalt? With the doctor try and get in the head of the doctor? Or is that asking too much?

[01:08:51] Zach: maybe.

[01:08:53] Victor: Just cuz it seems like that is, like, that's a, that's a part of you that maybe you would benefit

from better understanding. You know,

[01:09:01] Zach: Yeah. Cuz I was trying to be like, what part of me the bad blood pressure or what, what, what, what thing am I doing that needs addressing that is similar to like having high blood pressure and, and what thing am I doing that's like a sumo wrestler? This maybe, exciting to pay attention to, but like not.

[01:09:24] Victor: there shit, there's a blood pressure entry in the Dream

Bible. 

[01:09:27] Zach: Oh really? What does it say?

[01:09:29] Victor: To dream of blood pressure represents how well you are able to cope with current life situations. How exciting, thrilling, or challenging your life is. High blood pressure reflects too much stress, anxiety, or responsibility. A situation may be emotionally overwhelming.

You may need to seek help or slow down low blood pressure represents boredom or a slow paced lifestyle. You may be lacking excitement or need a change,

[01:09:52] Olivia: I don't know enough about, 

[01:09:54] Victor: 

so there's a part of you that this doctor represents the part of you that's responsible for your healing, that is neglecting your stress and anxiety 

[01:10:06] Zach: Right. 

[01:10:06] Victor: in favor of some exciting thing.

[01:10:11] Zach: Yeah. That's interesting. I do, I did. I feel like there's, like, I'm really close to knowing what that is, but I don't know. 

[01:10:17] Victor: Well, you got a lot of exciting stuff happening, right? And you're stressing yourself out about it. And so that.

[01:10:26] Zach: so that, but it, that doesn't feel like a wrong thing to like, to focus on the good, exciting stuff. Instead of the stress like that, that feels like a, but I was frustrated with the doctor. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, maybe.

[01:10:43] Victor: I mean, the doctor is from the doctor's perspective, uh, totally right to be excited to see the sumo wrestler,

but should be doing the job of taking care of your high

blood 

pressure. 

[01:10:56] Zach: maybe. Yeah. Shit. Maybe this, maybe it is about, um, cause I do think that's what I'm doing consciously is I'm ostensibly in the interest of my own mental health. I'm trying to focus, I'm consciously making an effort every day to focus on the good things that I'm working towards. And, uh, not be stressed out by the things that are stressing me out, but about, about the obstacles on the way there that are stressing me out. which to my conscious mind feels smart. Like eyes on the prize. Like just, just be grateful and be happy and excited that you have exciting things happening. and, uh, and try not to focus on the stressors that are on the way there. Like, that's, that seems like good advice and it's the advice that I've been following, but maybe this dream is telling me that like the part of my subconscious that I was embodying as the patient is frustrated that I'm not actually working on the stress or like healing the stress.

I'm, 

[01:11:59] Victor: Mm, 

[01:12:00] Zach: I'm just eyes on the surprising it.

[01:12:03] Victor: you're like powering through and trying to get to the other side. Um, when

maybe 

[01:12:10] Zach: I'm 

trying to like run past the stressors and, and just get there and then assuming I'll be fine instead of like trying to heal and soothe along the way.

[01:12:19] Victor: I really, really relate to that. Like I. Get dead set on like a thing that I, I hyper focus on and obsess over and like I wear myself at and I don't take good care of myself and I'm all stressed and tired and whatever. Um, cuz I'm just like chasing after a

thing. 

[01:12:37] Zach: and your thought is, once I get to that thing, then I won't be stressed 

[01:12:39] Victor: Exactly. But there's always something that, that, that, that attention is getting channeled towards.

And it's, um, I have, I haven't adjusted in the like how I need to, but like I am at least developing more of an awareness that I'm like on the hamster wheel, you know, wearing myself out and not actually doing what I need to be doing. Yeah. Anyway, I relate to that. I feel like, uh, I see in myself that it's not healthy to do that.

So like maybe that's also not healthy for you.

[01:13:13] Zach: yeah, yeah. When I think, I think the doctor is me. So to answer your question, yes, I think I could have just thoughted it, but from his perspective, like I think that would've made sense. But I also don't feel like we need to. No,

[01:13:25] Victor: Yeah,

think it 

all 

[01:13:27] Zach: it might be interesting, but I, but I think we've gotten there. 

[01:13:30] Olivia: I like these simple dreams that have just like, you know, three or four main symbols. Like sometimes

[01:13:37] Victor: they

[01:13:38] Olivia: for really sweet little metaphors, you know.

[01:13:41] Zach: yeah, and I think this one tied to the last dream about the, the excitement of moving in with, with Shelby, with the stress that comes along the way, um, maybe I need to like pay more attention to, um, to dealing with that so that the, cause once I get to the destination, there's just gonna be new journey, 

[01:14:02] Victor: Right. 

[01:14:03] Olivia: Mm-hmm. 

[01:14:04] Zach: like, it, it makes sense to. To always, to always be focusing on the, the, the, the, the, the feelings, like the, the things that come along with the journey that, that are, um, that need addressing health wise. 

[01:14:19] Victor: Yeah. 

[01:14:20] Zach: Um, I could also tie this to career stuff. I've got a lot of exciting stuff going on there, but, but I'm also like, you know, stressed about finances in, in the meantime. And I, I, I know it'll, I know it'll pay off, but, uh, until then it's a little scary.

[01:14:34] Victor: We, um, we've been doing this for quite a while now, and something we talked to Steve about is like, once you've been doing this for a while, you start to get like a real sense for your own patterns and your own, the overarching, uh, state of being and message that your dreams are trying to convey to you.

Um, and we've all kind of discovered what that is for each of us as over the course of like the last year or so that we've been doing this. And, 

um, 

[01:15:04] Zach: onto it. 

[01:15:05] Victor: yeah, we're start, we're, we're starting to get there, right? Um, but like, Zach, like you, you have been in a state of stress for kind of the duration of the podcast.

Right. And, um, there is always like the end goal and it is always kind of like a moving target, right? And I'm, I'm very similar, right? Um, you and I both like, uh, don't do like the self-care maintenance stuff that maybe we need to, cuz it's like, oh, that's just in the way of like getting to the, getting to the prize faster or whatever.

But, um, we both could probably benefit from finding ways to like, a little bit or like, um, like, you know, like mindfulness practices and things like that of like kind of just being in your body, like, like feeling like things are fine, that 

[01:15:58] Olivia: I love to hear this.

[01:16:00] Victor: I'm not gonna do it, but you should.

I took a bath via like a couple weeks ago cuz I was like all like stressed out my back was killing me or whatever. It was lovely. I was like in a good mood the rest of the day and I was like, I should do this more often and I haven't. But like,

man, 

[01:16:20] Zach: there's a lot of stuff, there's a lot of stuff like that where I, I keep thinking when I get to the life that I'm building, I'll have so much time for that stuff and I'll do it all the time when I have that time. Um, but the reality is I have time now. I'm just not doing it cuz I'm like focused on when I'll get to do it.

[01:16:38] Victor: I'm in the exact same boat. Yeah. Think of like, I envision a, a version of myself in the future that will feel Stable enough and secure enough and fulfilled enough that I will be allowed to relax and read a book and write some music and like, enjoy the things that I'm doing fully and not worry about blah, blah, blah.

You know? And it's like the, there, that state is always like very vague, right? And it's like kind of a, kind of a mirage and, and then there's concrete things that's like, that will get me closer to feeling that way. So I'm gonna try really, really hard to accomplish that thing. But, um, like years go by of you just like chasing like desperately after a thing, you know?

And it's like I've, I kind of could have relaxed the whole

time. 

[01:17:30] Zach: that's that's equally equal parts comforting and discouraging. Cuz cuz I, I frequently have this like, desperate thought where I'm like, why? Like, it's been 15 years or whatever. Like, why haven't I gotten to where I'm going? Will I ever get there? the truth is, if I rewind and think about what previous iterations of Zach wanted, I've probably gotten there over and over again.

I keep getting there. I just set a new goal every time. And 

[01:17:56] Victor: Right. Yep.

[01:17:57] Olivia: I feel like I've, I've said that a few times when this has come up for you guys where it's like, there's always gonna be another thing to chase, you know? Um, like it's not about, it's not about the end goal. It's about. The pursuit. There's something that like drives you to be in a constant state of that and, um, it'll, it sounds like you don't feel like you're allowed to not do that, or you feel bad.

[01:18:24] Victor: it's like, it's like a double-edged sword, right? Cuz it's like, it's, it's also kind of a motivator. Like you get more done, you feel more accomplished because you are like, you grinding yourself down to the, to bones, you know?

Um, and so there's like a reward built into operating that way

[01:18:47] Zach: Yeah, that's what I mean by it was, it's equal parts discouraging and encouraging because it's good to know that like, I, like I have advanced, when I, when I'm objective about my trajectory, I, I have. Come a long way, but is, but it's discouraging to, to think that I might always feel this way about, about the present,

[01:19:10] Victor: I think like in all seriousness, like the. You know, like there's different le levels of, um, like awareness or different levels of, um,

like 

[01:19:22] Zach: the conscious 

[01:19:23] Victor: consciousness, right? Um, that you go through. Like where like sometimes, like sometimes you're at a place where you, like, you have like incredible understanding and compassion and like, you're totally calm and totally chill and just like you, you know, like you kind of see your place and everything and you feel good about it.

And then there's other times where it's like you were just in it and you're like miserable or stressed or like frustrated or whatever, you know? And like people kind of think like, oh, you start out there and then you slowly work your way towards like, this sense of like, like, um, understanding it all and being calm and being above it all, but it's like you're constantly moving around on that scale, you know?

and so to sit, and like I say that to say like sometimes I'm able. To be aware that like I would probably get as much done or like 95% of what I do done, uh, while still being able to be like happy the whole way

by making slightly different choices and like operating in a slightly healthier way than I do.

Um, but then I, like, I have that awareness for like, just like a second and then I fall right back into my like insane

behavior. 

[01:20:37] Zach: Same. I've, I've heard, I've heard the advice a thousand times to learn to enjoy the journey cuz that's all there ever is. 

[01:20:46] Victor: Right? 

[01:20:47] Zach: I know that consciously, but I, making yourself do that is a whole nother thing.

[01:20:53] Victor: Yeah.

[01:20:54] Zach: Well, eat my dick and leave me alone. .

[01:21:00] Victor: I am laughing. It was quiet, but I was laughing.

 Thank you for listening to The Jung and the Restless. You can follow us on social media at the Jungand the Restless Pod and submit your dreams for interpretation to the Jung and the Restless Pod at Gmail. And as we always say, teeth, teeth are just little hammers. 

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