2. The Perfectly Upsetting Texture of Candy

Victor reads a creepy dream from Reddit. The Dream Team gets spooked discussing liminal space, ARG’s, and what creatures might…...

Victor reads a creepy dream from Reddit. The Dream Team gets spooked discussing liminal space, ARG’s, and what creatures might be lurking in the depths of the collective unconscious. Olivia shares a disturbing dream about a little candy duck who makes a horrifying nest and realizes it actually makes perfect sense. Zach shares an embarrassing dream about something rather, uh… personal. Maybe skip this one, mom. 

0:00 Intro

8:25 Reddit Dream

25:04 Olivia's Dream

45:15 Zach's Dream

About Dream Bible:

Dream Bible is a free online A to Z dream dictionary dedicated to helping people understand the meaning of their dreams. Unlike other dream interpretation websites or books we extensively research dream symbols by interviewing people about the events occurring in their lives at the time of their dreams.  Inspired by the work of Gillian Holloway Ph.D, we are using a database of over 350,000 dream reports to create the world's most practical dream dictionary based on the waking life experiences of regular people.


Dream Bible Entries used in this episode:

Candy: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Candy

Ducks: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Ducks

Skin: https://www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Skin

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejungandtherestlesspod/

Episode Transcript

Victor: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Young and the Restless. I'm Victor.

Zach: I'm Zach. 

Olivia: And I'm Olivia. This is a podcast that traps you in an infinite liminal space for all of eternity.

Victor: Sleep

before go.

I always am accept chicken 

Olivia: and kitchen like all the time. I will say one when I need the other cuz they're kind of the opposite of each other. If you think about it. 

Victor: Uh, it's 

Zach: phonetically inside out. 

Victor: Yes. 

Olivia: Mm-hmm. . Exactly. Anyway, Victor's been getting up and getting on the rowing machine in the morning and the like.

Is it a rowing machine? Yes, we do. 

Victor: You're gonna get 

Zach: it ripped. , 

Victor: I get it. And like, Oh, I don't have to go to the gym anymore. And I use it for like five minutes at a time. And I'm like, Yeah, [00:01:00] that felt good. I'm good. . 

Olivia: Anyway, the, the sound of him on the rowing machine inspired a dream where this guy was singing a song to that rhythm about how he like buried his dog under a tree and that the tree turned the dead dog into his mom.

And, um, I don't 

Zach: know, do you remember the melody? Can you sing it for us? It was to 

Olivia: the melody of Under the boardwalk. 

Victor: I was picturing like a, a sea 

Zach: shanty. Yeah. When I heard rowing, that's, that's where my mind went to. That would've been better. But I found the song that I had in my dream that I sent you guys.

I still don't know where the melody came from. Well, the lyrics served from the dream, and the melody is like hauntingly familiar to me, and it makes sense that my subconscious would use a real melody. Okay. I don't know. I don't know where I've heard it. Could you 

Victor: hum it 

Zach: for us? Maybe. I got the lyrics right here.

The hex, the, hes the head below the basement and there's no one in the world to let you, It was like, [00:02:00] there's also a background group of people that were going, Hey, . So okay. It was like the hex, hey, the hex, hey, the head below the basement and there's no one in the world to let you down. Along those lines, it was very like, uh, the hex, 

Victor: Hey, the hex, Hey, there's something in the basement.

The head below 

Olivia: the 

Victor: basement, very basement, and there's no one in the 

Zach: world To those lines, I feel like I heard, it reminds me of a melody that I maybe heard in a rap song in like the nineties when I was a kid. Okay. But it did, but it weirdly did have like kind of a c shanty feel with the, So 

Olivia: listeners, if you, uh, recognize this song, please write into the Young and the Restless pod at Gmail and let us know what, uh, what Zach's dreaming about.

Zach: I'd probably have to sing it better for them to. Pick up on it. Maybe I'll drop that in and post during here, [00:03:00] to a 

Victor: clean and tape. Totally 

Olivia: produce it. There was this episode of Reply all where this, there was this guy on the internet who was like, Does anyone remember this song? And like, he could sing it.

And he remembered it so vividly, but nobody remembered it when he would sing it for them. And this guy went out and fully produced this whole song from memory. Like he knew all of the parts for all the instruments. He knew most of the words, and like recreated it to try and find the person who wrote it.

And it was a real song that existed. He was just the only guy who remembered it. So, um, maybe, maybe that's what's happening with you. 

Zach: But it did exist. It wasn't, he wasn't having a Mandela effect. It was real. 

Victor: It was. That was a good episode. That's a good podcast. It is a good podcast. Turn this off, . Go 

Olivia: listen to it.

No, you can listen to us. Uh, reply. All is dying, unfortunately. 

Victor: Oh yeah. And 

Zach: then we'll meet you 

Victor: back here. . 

Olivia: [00:04:00] Yeah, . The only other thing that's been like new or weird in my dreams is that I've been having a particular friend of mine show up in my dreams a lot recently. I'm not sure why They're all positive dreams.

She's always like, kind of doing something, uh, badass or 

Victor: exciting. Is she 

Zach: killing it in real life? She's always killing it. So maybe you're just, uh, you know, thinking good thoughts about her, maybe being proud of your friend. Um, I keep dreaming about, um, like a big body of water, like a, uh, a beach with a bunch of piers.

and, uh, but it kind of looks like Lake Washington. It's like if you went to one of the beaches along Lake Washington, but it was actually the ocean scale. Hmm. So there's like freighters, like big ships and long stretches of beach and, and giant piers and like way out on the horizon. The waves are really huge, but by the [00:05:00] time they get to the shore, they're pretty gentle.

Hmm. And I just, I can't remember any particular dream, but I, I, I know that I keep seeing that location, but even though I live in California now and I'm near the ocean, I haven't seen it as much as I used to. See, I used to, I live right next to Lake Washington, so I used to see it like every day. So that's, I think that's why it kind of looks like that.

Victor: So you said that they're big waves out to sea, but the, it's actually calm and by the time the waves are getting to you, it's, it's 

Zach: calm. Yeah. Yeah. And most of 'em are really pleasant, serene, kind of dreams. Hm, around swimming around or in a boat. And actually the most recent one that I remember the most of was I was dating somebody.

I don't remember who, who was supposed to be, but she wanted to get in a row boat. And I was, I saw these gigantic waves and I was like, You're gonna capsize, you're gonna drown. But then she got in the boat and like by the time the waves got to her, they're like a little splash. 

Victor: Well that's an interesting like [00:06:00] theme, right?

Is the idea of the scary waves in the distance being nothing by the time they get to you, right? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. So that could maybe be like a self reassuring kind of signal you're trying to send to yourself about how the far off anxiety usually aren't anything by the time they get to you. 

Zach: That makes sense cuz most nights I go to bed thinking like, All right, another day I've paid for this apartment , right?

Like I'm, I just like, I'm always grateful to like lay my head down on a pillow. In Los Angeles, 

Victor: Dream Bible says, To dream of an ocean represents powerful uncertainty in your life. Confrontation with negative situations or negative emotions. Your biggest struggles or most baffling challenges. Feeling that problems are too enormous.

Uh, it says to dream of a calm or pleasant ocean view represents stability and emotional balance. Issues have been confronted or accepted. You are handling yourself well [00:07:00] or have taken control of a difficult situation. 

Zach: Yeah, that tracks, Yeah. That is like a paradigm that I deal with daily where I this constant like, heavy feeling.

The things are not gonna be okay cuz I just, I don't feel like particularly stable, but it keeps working out. I haven't, yeah, nothing bad has happened to me. Um, and I have no real reason to believe it's going to, it's just unpredictable. 

Victor: Yeah. And you're not just treading water, Right. It seems like you're, Things are getting better and better over time.

Zach: Yeah. But when things are in motion, they have the potential to also go backwards. Right. Um, but 

Victor: yeah, if it was pink, uh, you'd have a serious lust problem, it sounds like, from what I'm reading here. So just look out for Pink Oceans.[00:08:00] 

Wanna roll into the Reddit dream? Yeah. Okay. That's it. So, so I was doing a little scanning today. I've got one like, kind of beefy solid dream that I think we'd talk about, or I've got a couple little snippets of people asking questions. So what, which would you guys prefer about, You said a 

Olivia: beefy salad dream.

Victor: It's a real beefy salad. Said . 

Zach: But it did take me a minute to realize he didn't mean a salad of beef. I think I 

Victor: said, I think he said solid. 

Olivia: Solid. Oh, wow. [00:09:00] We all 

Victor: heard different things. Beefy solid or beefy SOS salad. I 

Olivia: heard beefy salad, but then I assumed you meant beefy. Solid. 

Victor: Maybe I'm thinking about dinner again.

Olivia: why don't you pick you're, you're familiar 

Victor: with them. Okay. Okay. One beef salad. So this is on the Dream subreddit on Reddit. Our dreams. Posted by User Pleasant Winner 32 57. The subject is my house turned into a liminal space. I took a nap today and had the weirdest dream. The apartment I live in turned into liminal space.

If I looked outside the windows, I could see another interior space that was almost identical to my house. Instead of the usual road trees and houses I normally see in real life, that was for all windows on both sides of my house. I opened a window and crawled into one of the clones of my [00:10:00] house, only to notice it was furnished in a slightly different way.

Instead of my cat, I saw my parents' cat, and there were also elements from the house I grew up in. The further I went sneaking into my house's, clones from the windows, the creepier, and darker at God. The dream also gave me the illusion. I woke up. Sometimes while exploring the copies of my house, I would suddenly find myself in my actual bed wearing the clothes I was wearing in real life and think, Oh, I woke up.

But then I would get up and look outside the window and see I couldn't see the world outside, just infinite copies of my house on both sides of the apartment only then I knew I wasn't actually awake and that I had to keep exploring. Each copy had more and more furniture and elements for my early teenage hood and childhood stuff I could remember from real life.

I then realized each apartment copy was set in a specific spot in time and space, sorta like that bookshelf scene in Inner [00:11:00] Stellar. They were all empty as if no one was home except for one. I walked through many copies. Then I eventually sneaked into yet another clone of my house and saw 13 year old me.

The walls were full of posters and there was stuff I remember from the two 2010s laying all around. I had to hide from her and her or my family. They were all about to leave. Once everyone left, I got to walk into the room and lay on her bed. I heard a voice and I noticed there was a man laying next to me.

He said, I've been in love with you ever since you were this young. Then I woke up. Yeah. Yeah. 

Zach: That's that Jordan Peele movie. 

Victor: Oh, with the, Is it us? The clone 

Zach: stuff? Yeah. Oh, the, like the other world where it's uh, like a dark mirror. Hm mm-hmm. . That's what it reminded me of. It reminded me of an interstellar, apparently.

Olivia: It also [00:12:00] reminds me of that thing that has happened to me where I'll have like a sleep paralysis adjacent thing and it only happens, or it usually happens when I take a nap. 

Zach: Yeah. Like this person. Yeah. 

Olivia: I'll take a nap and I will wake up and I will get up and I will walk through my house from the place where I fell asleep, and slowly I will start to realize that things are off and it gets to a certain point where I kind of snap back into where my body actually is asleep, and then I will kind of have a normal sleep paralysis thing where I'm trying to get up.

It just repeats. , but it kind of seems like a similar thing where like, this person is made lucid over and over again and it, it kind of puts them back to where they started each time. 

Zach: Yeah, which is weird. Cause every time I become lucid, I usually wake up or stay lucid. I don't know if I've ever [00:13:00] lost lucidity and then continued to have a dream forgetting that I was dreaming.

But I wonder if there's something about naps, like the, uh, short term nature of it that makes that, um, more prone to happen. 

Olivia: Victor, why did, like, what made you pick this dream? 

Victor: Well, I found the idea of like the infinite repeating space. Really interesting. And it's kinda like a sci-fi or, or like short fiction concept.

So it's cool to me that this person like experienced that. And then I felt like the, the weird dark turn at the end really caught me by surprise. It's just like a very, very creepy and like unexpected way to wrap the dream up. So you, so you're both talking about lucid dreaming, but it, it, it seems to me, looking at this, that.

There is El lucidity in like the thinking that they have woken up and then realizing, Oh no, I must still be [00:14:00] dreaming because I can't see outside. Right. But it seems like there's like added complexity as the dream rolls on. So first it's just like infinite space, then it's like infinite space, but you're waking up in your bed.

And then it was this realization that like all of the different rooms represented different time periods or like alternate realities. And then finally there's like other people in the dream from like different time periods and then this creeper monster at the end. Right? So it's like that doesn't, to me read like a regular lucid dream, right?

It continued to get weirder and weirder is the thing rolled 

Zach: on. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Like they had glimpses of lucidity, but with no actual control. That usually comes along with it. Yeah. 

Olivia: Yeah. It's like this person saw something they weren't supposed to see. Like you get trapped in this dream loop where if you stay in it long enough, [00:15:00] you're gonna get deep into some real weird shit.

But, uh, you're not meant to, you're not meant to go that 

Victor: far. Yeah. I love the idea of like exploring your, your psyche or your subconscious and like, if you get too, too far away, like you're too deep into it. There's like monsters lurking there. I find that to be really interesting 

Olivia: concept. It's interesting that she doesn't recognize the man 

Zach: either.

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. Cause everyone else was like an alternate ver or a version. Of somebody she knew, like, like on a different place in the timeline or something. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . But this was the only like stranger danger 

Victor: that feels to me like, uh, like a, like a ghost or like a dream demons.

Then stalking her since she was a small child. 

Zach: The feeling I got from that figure, and this is just me, like putting myself in her shoes, like imagining that this dream was happening to me, [00:16:00] that figure to me felt like the, like architect or orchestrator of the infinite liminal spaces and she just got too deep into the maze and found the like, you know, seventh circle.

Victor: Yeah. Ugh. Cuz the thing knew like what, or the guy knew like she was experiencing seeing a younger version of herself. So it kind of seemed like he was. Kinda ushering her through mm-hmm. this experience a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Very creepy. I get something out of, um, dream monsters where part of the gimmick of what is scary about them is that you both know you're in a dream.

Yeah. The, I don't like that. Yeah. Freddie Kruger 

Zach: effect. 

Victor: Mm-hmm. . It's the kind of thing that 

Olivia: makes me afraid to go to sleep. 

Victor: Yeah. 

Zach: What was the name of that horror movie? Where the, uh, kids are exploring the, um, par, uh, Catacombs under pairs. [00:17:00] Oh. Um, but the, Do they keep not being able to go back, so they have to keep going deeper.

Victor: Yeah. We watched that So Below or something. 

Zach: Yeah. As of so below, that's what the, like never ending Liminal spaces reminded me of too. Hmm. Which was what I, I, I'm severely claustrophobic, so that movie really bothered me. They just keep going deeper into the earth. Yeah. That in the descents. Um, and liminal spaces too that, so sometimes if I just wanna creep myself out, but I don't have like the time for a horror movie, I'll just Google or go on Instagram and just look at liminal spaces, just like arcades with no games and 

Victor: the parts of the internet I, I gravitate towards these days.

I don't get like a lot of creepy pasta exposure anymore, but something like floated past me the other day, which is like, Oh, you gotta be careful or you'll like clip through reality and end up on like the other side of like the [00:18:00] digital wall of what separates our reality from like, uh, it's described as like infinite office space.

It's just like fluorescent lights and just infinite, empty office space. And I don't, That's so terrifying. There's maybe something creeping around out there in that infinite space, you know? Yeah. 

Zach: I love that. My algorithm is absolutely infected with that kind of stuff right now. I've been going. Especially my front page of YouTube is all, you know, the dark side of Reddit, like , it's.

Internet Urban legends. 

Olivia: Yeah. I see lots of like glitch in the Matrix videos. Like, look, you can see in this security camera footage from me at work that I cut the lemon in half and then I turned around and I have to cut it again. 

Victor: Your TikTok is always bringing you to like high def vis like video of like aliens and monsters and Sasquatch and shit, and it's, it's like convincing, but like by gut reaction and all that stuff is like this couldn't [00:19:00] this, it couldn't be.

But also who has the, who has the time and the money to just be doing all these like fake, like high quality videos. 

Zach: Yeah. It's, I mean that can turn a profit now with ad revenue and sponsors and stuff. Yeah. Money's probably making itself. For some of these people. 

Victor: Yeah, you're right. There's probably a whole cottage industry of like trying really convincingly showing people that there's like aliens and, and Sasquatch and stuff, which there is, but you know, You don't have video of it.


Zach: That would be bigger news. , I've been getting really into ARGs lately. Do you know what those are? No, I haven't heard of that. Alternate reality games. I'm probably gonna get this explanation wrong and then people will yell at me about it, but, and I'm just now kind of learning about it. It's, it's fascinating to find out that there's like an entire vehicle for entertainment that I didn't even know existed.

Hmm. And it's this like, it's like people making horror. [00:20:00] Stories essentially out of like artifacts of media. So it's not like a movie or TV show or like one singular thing. It'll be like somebody creates a YouTube channel with all these creepy videos that like tell a story. If you put in like the, the.

Detective work to piece them together and oh, it, it often comes with like social media accounts that belong to the characters within mm-hmm. , uh, and it's, the whole thing is presented as if it's real. I love, You 

Victor: ran across one of these like a couple months ago. Do you remember? There's the guy that was like creepy and doing the dances and then people were like, Oh, if you watch carefully, you can see he's got, like, he's probably keeping someone kidnapped or something.

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff like 

Olivia: that. Yeah. Okay. What scares me though is that like, what if somebody's not doing that and everyone just thinks it is that 

Zach: that's, that's part of what's supposed to be unsettling about it. Well, 

Olivia: yeah, I mean this guy could have easily been, uh, I don't know. 

Victor: Yeah. But you could see that also being that kind of thing, right?

Olivia: Yeah. I don't like the [00:21:00] ambiguity of 

Victor: it though. I don't either. 

Zach: Yeah. 99% of them eventually the internet sleuths will definitively prove that they're, uh, Just game masters. You know, 

Victor: I was reading about one recently, I can't remember. It was like another TikTok thing and I like went down a Googling rabbit hole about it.

But it was like this woman that was doing these videos where it was like an as smr thing of her eating. I 

Zach: hate those. A muck bang. I'm drawing a blank on her name, but I know exactly who you're talking about. Right. She'll put in the descriptions like, she'll like capitalize the H in the middle of this word and the E in the middle of that word and it spells out 

Victor: help.

Right, Right. And it's like, um, It. The description I read of the last video sounded really horrific. It sounded like, I mean they could have faked this, I guess, but it sounded like she like cracked a tooth or like a tooth fell out of her mouth. Yeah. Oh, she was? 

Zach: Yeah. [00:22:00] Physically injured. You could tell she was like missing a tooth.

And yeah, people say they can hear in the background of their videos, someone like saying, Eat 

Victor: faster, and the account like left a com. People were like, I'm concerned. And the account was like, She's fine. . . 

Zach: Yeah. But a lot of people attribute that to her being French. Oh, okay. Them using pronouns. Differently, 

Victor: but that's what's so creepy is like you don't know if this is like a really elaborate like art project.

Mm-hmm. or like you're really onto something fucked up. 

Olivia: I really don't like the idea of like a serial killer pretending to be one of those. Right. Not that that's like a real concern. It's not something that happens all that often. But I, I guess it, and I guess that is the appeal of it, is that like, I mean it could be, 

Zach: Yeah.

The thing about that one, if she was putting Cryptograms or whatever they're called into the [00:23:00] descriptions of the video, you know, like subtly putting, help me in there. Why would the capture letter 

Victor: write the description? Exactly. Yeah. No, it doesn't make sense. , that was exactly the thought I had as I was reading the thing.

I was like, What? He's like, get over there and sit on YouTube and upload the video. , you do all the 

Zach: leg work. Kate. Yep. 

Victor: Was her name. That's right. Yeah. I love shit like that though. Yeah, like, I mean obviously that's disturbing, but I, I find that fascinating. Yeah. 

Zach: Did you watch the one I sent you? I am. Sophie 

Olivia: did.

Well, no, we started it. Wait, is that one of these 

Zach: things? Yeah. Did you only watch the, the first three videos are way different. It gets really, Okay. We 

Olivia: will, we will continue watching 

Victor: it. We thought maybe that the, it was like dry enough humor that it crossed over into just being the, It was like a pose law thing where it was like so close to the thing.

It was parodying that it was just the thing. It was parodying. 

Zach: Um, [00:24:00] no, that's an example of an arg that. You can tell as an arg cuz they are using dry humor and they are being satirical. Right. But it, it takes a hard left turn after like the second or third 

Victor: episode. Okay, cool. We'll get back into that. Yeah, let's do that.

I think we watched the first two, 

Zach: something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I should have said stick it out gets, it gets better. 

Victor: You're 

Olivia: like, I feel like this is better if I say nothing at all. I was like, I gave 

Victor: it a shot. 

Zach: Sack's taste and entertainment's getting real weird. . I just thought you were 

Victor: like, This's gonna be sending me Kardashians more hip than we are.

You could like, you could sit through the multiple layers of irony and get something out of it and we're just like, I don't know, Put on another slasher. 

Zach: No, that's what it turns into. Oh, okay. , But more, more cerebral than that. It's really well made. 

Victor: That's awesome. Yeah. No, we, we will dig back into that.[00:25:00] 

Olivia: I had a really disturbing dream that I was thinking we could talk about today. Let's do it. I also feel like it maybe requires like some kind of trigger warning, um, for like tripophobia or like bodily stuff. It was very, it was like not super gory, but it like is triggering and a very particular way for a particular crowd.

So, um Okay. You know who you are, . 

Zach: Yeah. And if that's you, write in and tell me if hearing a description is bad enough. I thought it was just like a visual phobia, but yeah. Maybe not. I, It maybe trigger warning is trigger warning. Couldn't 

Victor: hurt. So would like, I wanna see if this phases you. Cause it, it upsets me a little bit and I don't usually think of myself as having a trip, trip to phobia, Tripophobia 

Zach: [00:26:00] Tripophobia.

Whenever I see the pictures, I don't like 'em, but they don't, they don't upset me. Right. 

Victor: But hearing this dream made me a little uncomfortable. So let's, let's hear it. 

Olivia: Okay. So in this dream, I was sitting on the floor and I was eating candy and I had this little duck figuring, but it was made out of like nerds, the candy, like little tiny balls of candy.

And I set it down on my bare knee. and I like pointed at it and told Victor to look at it, and he was like, Oh, nice. A duck or whatever. I don't know, and I, So then I, I just picked it back up, but it left like a pocket on my knee of like nerds deeply embedded into my flesh. Um, and so I started like picking them out 

Zach: of this [00:27:00] like a, like a golf ball.

Like golf ball dimples? 

Olivia: Not quite, it was more like picture if you cut a circle of flesh off of my knee and in the space, the raw 

Zach: space, like with a melon baller, 

Olivia: not quite, it wasn't deep. It was like it was shallow. Okay. Just trying to get a visual. Yeah, no, I appreciate it. Um, so there's no skin there, but it's like kind of a, it's an open wound and.

It's not very deep, but there's like nerds deeply embedded into it. And so I'm, I start picking the candy out, like trying to get it out and then I'm like realizing that it's like kind of, it's also underneath the, the skin on the edges of the wound. And so I'm kind of having to slide my finger under the skin to like get it out.

And then before long I'm literally like reaching [00:28:00] with my whole arm scraping candy out. And then I am fully inside of this pocket, like scraping on thigh. I'm like in it, like my whole self is inside of it. And there's just all of this to on your leg. Yeah. It's kind of hard to explain, but that's how it went.

Um, And I'm like scraping candy out, like towards me to get it out. Um, and it's not just candy anymore, it's like a whole bunch of junk and trash and like, 

Victor: yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Zach: No good. Like between in the area between like the muscle and skin. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's like what I'm picturing. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Uh, yeah.

What do you think that means? ? 

Victor: Um, we're not eating nerds for a while. . 

Zach: I haven't had a nerd in so long. Not a single nerd, Not a single nerd . I had a Jolly Rancher last night for the first time and what felt like two [00:29:00] decades. You 

Olivia: imagine if I was eating nerds and someone was like, Yo, can I have a nerd 

Victor: one Green place

Olivia: Um, uh, you know, it kind of reminds me of some of the poop dreams that we've talked about where like, you can't. Get the thing done and it's getting worse and more gross. Where for me it was like, there was a small problem on my leg where I was like, Oh, I accidentally embedded this in here. Let me get that out.

And the problem just got bigger and bigger until I was literally swallowed 

Zach: by it. Yeah. Like a body horror version of when you just spread a mess around on the counter instead of, because you didn't get enough rag mm-hmm. to so it up and you just make it worse. 

Victor: Mm-hmm. reminds me of those horror stories of someone that like, um, like takes like the wrong drugs and then starts like picking at themselves.

Yeah. And then just [00:30:00] keeps going. Does permanent damage? 

Zach: It felt like that too. That's a common meth thing, isn't it? Yeah. Uh, not even once guys, What. I'm trying to like hang some significance on, um, candy 

Olivia: there. So there were a few symbols here. There was, um, there was candy, but then also the candy was originally just a cute little figurine of a duck.

Yeah. Um, which I'm, I mean, I'm not surpr like there's always an animal in my dreams, just 

Zach: always somehow. I doubt there's significance to nerds specifically. 

Olivia: Yeah. I think it was just the size of it was, I don't know, it was just like a disturbing way for it to like 

Zach: manifest the perfectly upsetting texture of candy.

But cuz yeah, my like knee-jerk reaction is that like, you know, something like candy getting under your skin and spreading, I don't know, candy might [00:31:00] represent something, um, bad for you. You know, 

Olivia: it might. And then like, once I got in there, there was a whole bunch of other shit in there. There was like trash and like junk and it looked like someone had been like squatting in there.

Victor: oh my god. , that's disgusting to dream of. Candy represents something that feels good to think about. Enjoyment or self-indulgence. You may be feeling joy or experiencing a special treat, a pleasurable experience you were having. Candy may also reflect you enjoying yourself, thinking of plans you have for the future.

That's it. That's all we got on candy. Okay. There's no candy negative. Nope. All 

Zach: right. Candy's always 

Victor: good. There's candy examples. 

Olivia: Sometimes I wonder about the person who wrote this website. 

Victor: It's gotta be one guy, right? 

Olivia: It's one guy. It's one guy, 

Zach: you know, with uh, you really [00:32:00] hit guy hard there. , , . Um, this is not a woman I often wake up in the middle of the night with a craving for candy.

Hmm. That's interesting. Doning and I, I'm not a big sweets person. I don't, I don't eat a lot of sugar. Yeah, typically, but like pretty frequently I'll wake up cuz I have to pee or something, but like to somewhere between two and four in the morning and I'll just wish I had candy in the house. I keep frozen grapes instead for that I'll, that's snack on frozen grapes cuz it's sweet.


Olivia: my dad wakes up in the middle of the night and eats pickles and he has always told me that it's because it makes him dream. That sounds 


Zach: I would love a pickle in the middle of the 

Olivia: night. Well, apparently they make my dad dream, so maybe give that a go. I'm, Yeah. 

Zach: But anyway, back to your dream. I wonder if peeps makes or nerds makes a, a, a peep, You know what I mean?

I wonder if there is a duck shaped if nerd [00:33:00] like candy. Yeah. You're thinking 

Olivia: of like a little rubber 

Zach: duck. Oh no, that's not what it was. Like. It would look like a, like a real duck. 

Olivia: No, it's interesting cuz like of course it would, of course you would picture a peep. Um, but yeah, no, it was like, it was shaped like an actual 

Victor: duck.

Yeah. I guess I was picturing a real duck. I was picturing like a little bill and everything. Yeah. I I also don't think this adds much. I feel like your dream is like way off the map for Dream Bible. Let's, let's hear it. Um, to dream of a duck represents you or someone else in waking life that is aware of everything happening around them.

Positively. Ducks may reflect, preparedness and savviness. Being truly informed or having inside information, feeling that it is easy to adapt or get away with something negatively. A duck may represent gossip or talking about other people behind their backs and annoying twrp in your life that won't go away, or that you feel always gets away with something [00:34:00] negative.

It may also be a sign that you don't like being as informed as you are. Did you have three entries pulled up? I just pulled up. Skin to dream of Skin represents the mental and emotional boundaries between you and other people and the events of your life. It's how you protect or resist attacks on your feelings or.

Alternatively, skin and dreams may reflect your ability to like yourself or feel good about yourself, heightened sensitivity or not feeling good about something, not feeling good about what someone said to you. Hurtful comments. So there's having no skin. You've got skin, there's burned skin, You're not burned.

This is close. Mm-hmm. to see a creature that burrows under the skin or creatures would symbolize problems that bug you or that have gotten to. 

Zach: What are you putting together? 

Victor: The crystal meth thing too? Uh, yeah. . Okay. So then there's snake shedding and then it [00:35:00] leads in with crystal meth. Addicts often hallucinate about bugs, burrowing holes, and crawling under their skin.

This may symbolize their annoyance about the drug's effects, feeling to have permanently worn off and leaving the addict unable to feel good about themselves anymore. So where are you at? 

Zach: Um, how much, exactly, how much meth are you on right now? ? 

Olivia: No, that doesn't track, but, 

Zach: but you made a face, like some of the other stuff did.


Olivia: yeah. No, with ducks, Absolutely. Ducks and skin and, and candy, honestly. So this friend of mine has been coming to me with really in depth information about her dating life, um, which I don't mind. I enjoy. Our friendship and hearing about her life and connecting with her. I really like the kind of dynamic that me and this friend have where we talk [00:36:00] really in depth about things.

We always have. And, um, that has, that's really rewarding for me. It's, it's something that makes me feel close to this person, but it had kind of gotten to a point where I was so involved, like, just because I had all of this information, that it became kind of a stressful thing for me to like, know all of her personal information and like all the ins and outs of her dating life and, um, when things were not, Going in a direction that I felt like I would, I would want for myself if I were her.

It would like became a stressful thing for me, um, to hear about it because I was hearing about it a lot. So that's 

Zach: ducks. The classic basketball paradigm skins or ducks 

Olivia: being truly in informed or having inside information. It may [00:37:00] also be a sign that you don't like being as informed as you are. I literally used those words to her the other day

Zach: So that's where the skin and the under the skin thing comes into place. You think that is like the, the classic meaning behind that, just the. Distress and 

Olivia: to dream of skin represents the mental and emotional boundaries between you other people and the events in your life.

It's how you protect or resist attacks on your feelings. 

Zach: Um, it's very specific and relevant. Stress. 

Olivia: My mental capacity . Had been like really overwhelmed by the events. This other person's life. 

Zach: Her duck was under your skin. You think you're, you're figuring you're putting the pieces together. You're like, you're externally processing. 

Victor: Yeah, a little bit. So the candy here represents like the good positive thing that you want, which [00:38:00] is like a connection with your friend. Mm-hmm. the duck is the corruption of that positive relationship.

And, uh, the shift from that being like a good enjoyable thing to you having too much information and it being crossing into an unhealthy dynamic, and then the duck then burrowing under your skin or causing this like burrowing under your skin that you have to dig into. When becomes more and more horrifying is your increasing stress and anxiety over the corruption of.

What should be positive? Dynamic. And I think the cherry on top of the metaphor here is that you took the duck and you showed it to me , because we talk about this a lot, . 

Zach: And then what do you think all those squatters trash was 

 It is interesting that you used the word. Squatting or squatter and before you came [00:39:00] to the conclusion that somebody's living rent free in your brain. 

Victor: You're 

Olivia: right. Um, and it kind of did look like someone had fully just like been living 

Victor: there. I like that. I the, uh, living rent free deeply under your skin.


Olivia: This is weird for me to talk about a little bit. Like it's not, I don't, I'm not like I'm good with us going here, but I'm having a hard time like summing these things, things up. Yes, exactly. 

Victor: Part of 

Zach: the be you were able to, Um, have a heart to heart about that, those boundaries and that situation with, uh, this friend already.


Olivia: yes, and this friend is, um, a very good friend of mine, like this friendship is solid. This person is going through a time right now, and I'm more than happy to be there for them, which is, it's just kind of a fine line situation, you know? But she was able 

Zach: to hear you out about your Totally.

Yeah. Perspective. Yeah. And that did, I'm just curious, did you happen to have that [00:40:00] conversation before or after this dream, or is it an ongoing conversation? 

Olivia: Around the 

Victor: same time, One of the flaws in the premise of what we're doing here that keeps coming up is if you're dreaming about something, it's a thing that is like affecting your life on an emotional level.

And so if you start digging into what the meaning of that thing is, you're all, there's a good chance you're gonna run into a thing that's distressing to you and that you don't wanna talk about on a podcast that's gonna blast out to have many people. Yeah. . 

Zach: Yeah. Yeah. I think we finished just realizing that we have to be more prepared to get into the shit than we thought we would have to.

Oh dude. I thought about your song lyric the other day about meditation. Oh yeah. I, I was meditating and like when he told me about that lyric, or Olivia mentioned it, I was like, Hmm, can't really relate. And then I was meditating the other day and just some shit boiled, bubbled up and I was like, What the fuck?[00:41:00] 

My brain was just like, Hey, are you ready to forgive yourself for this? And I was like, I forgot about 

Victor: that . 

Zach: No, 

Victor: no, I'm doing this again. It is crazy that we can really like get into like what's going on in your life? Yeah. Talking about this 

Olivia: stuff. No, it's wild. Like ducks. Are you fucking kidding 

Victor: me? Ducks. I thought, no fucking way does that duck mean 

Olivia: anything?

I knew that this was gonna mean something. Like right when you pulled up candy, even though candy seemed like the least, like once I thought of what the candy means, the rest of it, I was like, Oh. 

Zach: I think our ongoing discomfort though is gonna be part of the entertainment value. Yeah. . Like the further we get, the more we're gonna be like, All right, here's one that I thought was fun, , but like just apprehensively like, Sure.

Here's a simple harmless dream I hope 

Olivia: our most, like on their face. Fucked up dreams are gonna be like, Look at the [00:42:00] personal growth I've done , 

Victor: and then your dreams about candy are gonna be the worst thing you've ever done in your entire life. 

Zach: I don't know if this will inform your rundown that you're gonna give, but we talk about the predominant feeling in dreams a lot is being a, a factor in the meaning.

Mm-hmm. , I was just curious if the, if the feeling in the dream was disturbing and intrusive and violating, or was it like cathartic to like try and clean that stuff out? I 

Olivia: was never gonna clean it out in the dream. Like, so it felt okay. It was really disturbing and by the time I was fully. The skin hole.

Yeah. Like there was so much shit in there like, and I didn't even know where to put it yourself. I couldn't get it out. It was just like everywhere. Yeah. 

Victor: Well I think you've been feeling really overwhelmed by this kind of thing and so that's probably a reflection of that, not at really being a permanent problem.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So the [00:43:00] situation is, I understand it is Olivia has a really good friend that's, you know, going through kind of an exciting part of her life where she's out dating out there. Try new things and she's gonna fall and make, make mistakes and scrape her knee and get up again and keep running.

And she's been bringing the Playby play day by day details of this, this exciting part of her life to Olivia and Olivia's been really invested in giving this person her best advice and really trying to help her get through this pro this period in a way that from Olivia's perspective will be as painless as possible.

And it can be really frustrating when you think from the outside perspective, you think, Oh, if they just did X, Y, z, oh, things would be going really good for them. And then that [00:44:00] person instead goes off and does their own thing, right? And, uh, that can be draining and exhausting because you really just want this person to be happy and okay, and instead, You're seeing them go through the messiness of their own life, right?

So they recently talked about like how their dynamic is working and what's not working for both of them. And it's just like, it's just friend stuff. It's just their dynamic needed some talking about, and I think they're in a, they're in a better place about it now. But this dream in some way reflects Olivia's perspective, which is she's tired because she's seeing her friend go through trials and tribulations and she just wants her friend to be okay, gonna 

Zach: let Baby Duck fly.[00:45:00] 

Now I'm all afraid to do 

Victor: my dreams. . 

Zach: Cause I, I have two that, that I could do that. Um, I had recently and they're both kind of funny and lighthearted, but we'll see. 

Olivia: Um, I think you're in a, you seem like you're in a good place lately. Ocean's calm. Mm-hmm. . Your baby is fine. 

Victor: my 

Zach: wife. My wife died. But 

Victor: yeah. Well, we'll get 

Zach: to that

That's true. We lost that episode. 

Olivia: Uh, The Lost the lost episode. Mm-hmm. , 

Victor: every episode from here on out, we're gonna just make references to the lost episode. Yeah, Yeah. 

Zach: Maybe we just never do it again. Just let it be lower . 

Victor: It was our best episode. It was good [00:46:00] By far the best thing we've ever done. And you'll never get 

Zach: to Hs d song.

You just have to believe us. . But yeah, I have one about Jungle Cats and another one that's, The one I had last night and I just remembered it. I don't know what about what you were talking about made me think of it. But I suddenly remembered the dream I had last night and it's really not safe for work.

And maybe a little bit, I don't know, delicate. I might, I might be embarrassed talking about it, but it's really funny. 

Victor: I wanna hear it. Yeah, I'd be lying if I said that wasn't intriguing. I mean, it's the second one 

Olivia: you're like, All right, jungle cats or my deepest, darkest secret 

Victor: that are a little sexy. 

Zach: It's just, uh, it's something that everybody does, but it's uh, um, embarrassing.

Hear your sexy secrets. Okay. So last night I had a dream where I was trying to masturbate. I [00:47:00] was just trying to take care of business and it was one of those, a lot like our poop dreams. Were you trying to get a thing done? Mm-hmm. actually a lot like the poop dream, cuz you're trying to get a bodily function done, trying to relieve yourself in a way.

And, uh, I was just, I was in a room and it was an unfamiliar house to me, but this was my bedroom and it was on the second floor. 

Olivia: Wait, was there there a liquor store clerk staring 

Zach: at you ? Just in the corner of the bedroom? ? Um, no, no, no. I like, I like to watch, Are you gonna 

Victor: buy something or ? 

Zach: Uh, but it was like a really nice house.

Not like, um, like way nicer than any house I've ever lived in. But it was my room I felt like. But I lived with my parents again, but it's like, it was the middle of the night and I knew they were asleep. Uh, and I was just trying to take care of business and then I realized that my door was open and across the hall [00:48:00] was their, their door, and it was open and I could see them sleeping and I was like, Ah, fuck,

So I stopped what I was doing and got up and shut their door carefully and then went back to it and then realized I forgot to shut my door. And I was like, Oh, if they get up in the middle of the night. And so I went and shut my door and then I went and sat next to the window. And this is where it got really like dispassionate, like, like really just trying to.

I keep saying take care of business, but it's best euphemism I have. I was like, like I was doing a chore, like I was mopping the floor. I was just trying to get it done. And so I was absentmindedly looking out the window , um, just like looking around and I saw that the neighbors were, you know, I'm on the second floor, so I'm looking down and they're, they're, I don't know what they're doing, but they're out in a, they're like doing yard work or something.

There's like seven or eight of 'em. , [00:49:00] there's a lot of neighbors. Yeah. And I'm just watching them like mow the lawn or whatever under like floodlights cuz it's the middle of the night. And then I realize that my lights are on in the window. 

Victor: Actually, , , 

Zach: the window actually extends all the way to the floor. So I'm just sitting naked next to a , a totally glass wall, cranking it,

At that point, I remember I got up and I went to the other side of the bed so the bed would be blocking the wall. And I was like, God damnit, I forgot about this glass wall, . Um, and I sat down on the other side of the bed where I would finally be like somewhat private, but I was in the middle of the room and I just felt, even though there was nobody around, like directly looking at me, I felt watched and I felt icky, and so I just stopped.

But this is totally 


Zach: poop dream. It has all the makings of one, 

Victor: huh? It does. Mm-hmm. all the trappings. To [00:50:00] dream of masturbating represents pleasing yourself mentally or emotionally, fantasizing, daydreaming, or pleasant thoughts about desires, wishes, or goals, things that may not be realistic at the moment.

You or some aspect of your personality is more focused on enjoying yourself or being successful than on true achievement or real life experiences. You may seem masturbating in a dream when you're spending a lot of time daydreaming about enjoying success, leisure, or using power to attain what you want in life.

Positively. Dreaming of masturbating represents feeling good by yourself because everything else is too pathetic to waste your time with . Feeling, feeling, being safe on your own because every other option is too dangerous, ignorant, or pathetic to waste your time with , enjoy. Yeah. A man wrote this. I know.

Zach: I was just thinking that definitely wasn't the feeling of the dream. Me being like, Yeah, I'm too [00:51:00] awesome 

Victor: for everything else. enjoyable experiences with yourself are better than with other people. Feeling that nobody is good enough or worthy enough to enjoy spending time with you. Relying on yourself to have a good time because every, every person or option available to you is too boring, ugly, unintelligent, or immoral to accept.

This is the 

Olivia: positive of masturbating 

Victor: there. I don't see a negative masturbation . There's nothing negative about masturbation. The 

Olivia: positive is just that I'm too awesome and everyone else is ugly, dumb, and 

Zach: immoral. I've never felt superior to anybody 

Victor: feeling that there is nothing special at all about something enjoyable, and you just wanna get it out of the way to go back to more interesting or professional experiences.

Mm. And that seems to resonate 

Zach: a little. That's closer. Yeah. Cause like I said, it wasn't, uh, like I wasn't having a, [00:52:00] a grand old time. It was, I can't 

Victor: believe how short the masturbation entry is. You'd think they'd have like, masturbating in front of neighbors, masturbating in front of a window, masturbating in front of your parents, Right.

All just in this dream. 

Olivia: Well, I think you can, you could combine it with other entries. Yes. True. Um, the first paragraph maybe resonates, I don't know, um, fantasizing about desires, wishes or goals, things that may not be realistic at the moment. Some aspect of your personality that is more focused on enjoying yourself or being successful then on true achievement or life experiences.

How did that part sit with you 

Zach: up until the last sentence? Yeah. I do feel like I'm right now very focused on actual real achievements. Mm-hmm. more than, um, fantasies. And the act itself almost felt like it was just like a, a hurdle that I had to jump [00:53:00] before I could focus on other things. Mm-hmm. , which I think it said something somewhere in that paragraph about, um, wanting to move on to other more practical things.


Olivia: that there's nothing special about something enjoyable and you just wanna get it out of the way to go back to more interesting or professional 

Zach: experiences. That feels like a very literal, literal interpretation. Mm-hmm. . Cause I have not been concerned about dating at all and, and quite some time.

So I'm, I'm just not professionally, financially, emotionally, like where I want to be before I start doing that again. 

Victor: And so it makes sense if you're feeling that way right where you are on the path towards like being somewhere that you're happy being, but you're not there yet. So it makes sense to be focused on that you're chugging along towards like the, the version of yourself where you feel like you can relax and in the meantime, it [00:54:00] maybe is hard to enjoy the life you are in right now.


Zach: It's, it's interesting to think that maybe you could read this dream the same way that you could just read actually masturbating in real life, , like, Well, I'm not gonna go find somebody. So let's just take, just blow some steam off before we get back to work. 

Olivia: It is interesting that it's like how similar it is to some of the poop dreams that we've talked about.

Like Yeah. 

Zach: Cause lack of privacy is a big thing. Lack 

Olivia: of privacy. And then also this is a common thing in dreams where it's like, I'm trying to get a thing done and there's other things in the way that are really frustrating. 

Victor: Mm-hmm. , I think there's definitely something there with the fact that it's like, like you're masturbating, which we associate with, like, it's kind of, you think of it as like kind of a, like a juvenile thing or like, you know, like a teenager discovering their body thing, whatever.

Right? And like you have, you've regressed to living with your parents while [00:55:00] you were masturbating your dream. Mm-hmm. then it's not like a sexual fulfillment dream, right? Because if, if your, if your mind was trying to conjure up away to satisfy you sexually, you would've had a sex dream. You're, you're very specifically having a masturbation dream where you're like cramped in with your parents and you can't find privacy and you don't have a way to do this, you know?

Yeah, yeah. Shameful secret 

Zach: thing. Also have been having plenty of sex dreams too, lately, and they're markedly different. They're not shameful or embarrassing. Right? Like this one was. Those are usually. Fun . 

Victor: Which is why it feels so much like the poop dreams. Yeah. Right. Where it's like there's this kind of, this, like you said, biological function that you wanna take care of, that you're a little ashamed of.

Mm-hmm. . And then these people keep getting in the way of you doing this thing. Yeah. Yeah. 

Zach: I don't even wanna do the thing. I have to do the thing. Right. 

Olivia: That's what's [00:56:00] interesting though, like similarly to poop, it's like a thing that people are embarrassed to talk about. Everyone does it, but we don't talk about it.

But what's interesting is that it's like, it's not a thing you usually have to do though. 

Zach: Well, yeah. I mean, my libido definitely peaked at like 18 or whatever, but it does, it does have to be there. There's a, a release valve that has to be opened every now and then. Um, I guess I literally have to. You know, Well, I 

Victor: guess 

Olivia: I feel like with poop it's like it's, it is.

Victor: Yeah. Well, it's 

Olivia: gonna happen whether you want it to or not. At a certain point, 

Victor: use it or lose it. 

Zach: Am I right? Hey, yeah, . But if you don't, um, and this is, uh, people with penises, penile individuals mm-hmm. , if you don't take care of it for long enough, it will eventually, you know, in the form of a nocturnal emission take care of itself.

Provided your libido is, you know, that [00:57:00] of somebody under a certain age. It slowly diminishes throughout your life. But I don't know, I hear about pretty old dudes that still have this, uh, need. 

Olivia: We should have a Wet Dreams episode. 

Zach: Yeah. Yeah. That is, that's another thing that the, the, this dream and the sex dreams could be stemming from is, um, Simply, uh, sleeping on my stomach.


Victor: Mm. 

Olivia: Do you sleep on your stomach all the time? 

Zach: I don't fall asleep on my stomach, but God, I don't know what I do after I fall asleep, I fall asleep on my left side. Oh, okay. But I don't know, I don't know what I do after that cause I can wake up in any position. 

Olivia: Oh, interesting. I was um, I was learning recently that sleeping on your stomach is apparently like the worst way you can sleep for your body.

Zach: Yeah, I've heard that too. Like for your internal organs, 

Olivia: it sounds like it is, will like fuck up your back and stuff. Your neck and 

Zach: everything. I toss and turn a lot. As 

Victor: long 

Olivia: as you're not [00:58:00] just pancaked there on your face all night, you're 

Zach: probably alright. No, I think I rotisserie all night. I usually wake up with the cause I'll go to sleep with like a book.

My vape and my phone in the bed and they usually all end up on the floor and I end up wrapped like a burrito in the blankets. , I'm a nightmare to sleep next to, I 

Olivia: was gonna say you shouldn't date . 

Zach: That's what this dream's about. I'm focused on other things, 

Victor: but I feel like, um, we we're talking kind of surface level on this mm-hmm.

but um, there probably is like some deeper meaning here. Right. Besides it just being like a, like a, it's not a poop dream. No. And so your brain is trying to probably tell you something different than it would with a poop dream. But I think the similarities are relevant. Are you, do you feel like us talking about this has like, sparked any kind of possible [00:59:00] understanding from your perspective, Zach?

Zach: Well, it's hard to say cause this one is fresh. But I had it last night, so I hadn't gone into this conversation with any preconceived notions. But, um, yeah, I do, I feel like dreams that involve sexuality, especially in like that, Cause there are sex dreams where like, it doesn't happen. You know what I mean?

Or a dream is sexual, but like there's no gratification or success in it. But this was the opposite. Like I had to take care of it before I could do other things. Does that make 

Victor: sense? Yeah. It wasn't the goal, it was the, it was that thing in dreams where you're just trying to get past something and your dream keeps throwing you roadblocks.

And then in this case, like increasingly embarrassing, like, Oh, I've already exposed myself to the neighbors. Oh, whoops. Okay, well now how am I gonna do this? 

Zach: I think the, yeah, the, I mean, sexual imagery is always, I think. [01:00:00] Especially in penile individual sexual imagery is loaded with like, Yeah. Um, symbology has to do with like achievement and success and uh, they literally use those wor you achieve an orgasm, it's considered or achieve a direction.

I mean, it's like considered a, a success. It's a very like, driven thing supposedly. Uh, I for totally forgot where I was going with this. 

Olivia: Well, one thing that's interesting, uh, is putting that in context with this being a dream where you're not necessarily a kid again, but you're living in your parents' house.


Zach: that's where I was going with this. Go for it. That, that's the new, the thing I hadn't thought about yet. Cuz all the sexual stuff, the, uh, the sexual imagery I feel like carrie's very obvious meaning to it. That like has been. Something that like most people grapple with since puberty, [01:01:00] but I hadn't thought about yet.

My like, uh, yeah, my, like you said, my parents were there. I was trying to do it much like a teenager, quietly in my room. And then when I realized that the window went down to the floor, my, the image I had in my head of myself of how I must have looked from down there was very childish, like sitting on my bare ass , like with leaning on a wall.

It just, it felt very like, like a baby chimp . 

Victor: Were you like fully erect throughout this dream? Yeah. Okay. So you're, you're like, Yeah, it never went away. I've got this erection, what do I do with it? And then all these problems keep getting in the way of you taking care of it. 

Zach: Yeah. Okay, gotcha. Which would usually, in real life, It would immediately deflate if I realized that my wall was made of glass

And I wouldn't keep trying, I would put clothes on . It might just be [01:02:00] a straightforward reflection of, um, the things I'm trying to get together and move forward with in my life right now. Hmm. And the, the hurdles, the everyday kind of hurdles that I feel like are kind of not as insurmountable as they used to.

Like I, I used to feel like there were mountains in my way and now I feel like my hurdles are like every day little nuisances and then nothing. I can't, I can't manage. But it is a little less private than it's ever been, you know? Which is just the nature of putting yourself out there. And, and 

Olivia: I do feel like this is a recurring theme in your dreams.

Lately though, the ocean, you're seeing these big waves off in the distance, but they're not actually a big problem when they're getting to you and you're having a good time. You seem to be having dreams that are reflecting that you're, you're in a pretty good, positive place lately. And that like the challenges that you are [01:03:00] facing are manageable.

Victor: I might just be projecting this onto you, but the sense I get of where you're at is that you're very driven and like, feel like you have a direction. and being driven and feeling like you're, you have a direction is maybe putting you in a place where, um, you're seeing a lot of things that aren't directly connected to that as an inconvenience.

Right. And just things in your way. A lot of things are obstacles right now. Right. And not much more than that because it's just between you and your goal. And so masturbation representing, like being focused on a goal, Right? Um, and then all of these things getting in the way of you, you know, pursuing that is just a reflection of, you know, where you're at.

Which is, I just wanna get here, I just want to get to this place. I'm trying to get, There's all this bullshit in the 

Zach: way. Yeah. [01:04:00] And maybe I was thinking too much of the masturbation as, as a hurdle, but maybe it is like the actually representative of the goals cause achieving them. On my own is definitely a part of my life right now.

Hmm. Which plays into the, the whole dating thing. I did have a long conversation last night with a mutual friend of my ex and I, and I had, I hadn't spoken with her in years and we really got into it, like talking about what happened between me and my ex. And it was, it was a cathartic conversation, but it brought up a lot of why I haven't dated since then.

Um, cuz I was stagnant, super stagnant for those three years and made a lot of sacrifices. Um, that, uh, led to a lot of dissatisfaction. I think since then I've been really apprehensive about dating anybody unless I'm can be a hundred percent sure that it's like, [01:05:00] that they're going in the same direction and that we're going to like work.

Yeah. Yeah. And that does, that doesn't just come out of the blue . Sometimes people, it does come out of the blue, but you have to wait for it to do that. You can't like, You can't go chasing waterfall . 

Olivia: It kind of does just fall into your lap when it's right. You know? Uh, and so like, I think taking the tact of not like bothering with, like trying to make a dating happen for you does make sense.

If the ultimate goal is that, like that'll happen when it's supposed to happen. 

Zach: Yeah. And I just want to be in a different place first, and I don't, I'm tired of like somebody being so close that they can watch me struggle to get there and actually feel like the struggles are fewer when nobody's watching.

Victor: Just like masturbating. Yeah, just like 

Zach: masturbating. Yeah. Figured it out. It's funny, we were kind of right the. [01:06:00] Candy Dream turned out to be like really layered and, and, um, deep and uncomfortable. And the thing about something really vulnerable in, you know, personal turned out to be just kind of just about my life, 

Victor: just in general.

I'm in a pretty good place right now. Yeah, you have it. 

Zach: All right, She, Thanks for listening to The Young and the Restless. You can 

Olivia: follow us on Instagram at the Young and the Restless Pod and submit your dreams to the Young and the Restless Pod at 

Victor: Gmail. And as we always say, go fuck yourself, Jim. 

Zach: Did you live on the, 

Victor: And maybe someday we 

Zach: could go for now, the clock ising 

Victor: dreamer dream.[01:07:00] 

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